I’m not quite sure what the marketing team at Mars had in mind for this one….
I can only assume from this packet of m&m’s eggs that Yellow m&m and Pink m&m Egg were love rivals for the affections of Green m&m Egg, and that for some reason Yellow has seen fit to slaughter Pink splattering himself and Green in the blood of his rival.
Do you think they picked up on the start of the Easter story, the bit where Jesus gets killed, and not bothered reading on to get to the more traditional ‘re-birth’ bit?
25 comments on “Easter is murder.”
*rubs his eyes*
What… what the…
Chris, can you see what I’m seeing? Is that… Kev?
No. No, that’s not Kev. It’s some sort of massive yellow egg with a face and white shoes. Kev is taller than that and less eggular.
It’s true. Don’t you remember? I had my shell removed in year 10.
Was that when you went through that period of having really pink skin and everyone called you ‘Raw Kev’ for a month? Does that mean the changlets will have shells too?
RAW KEV.
That sounds like a no-holds-barred autobiography that Kev will publish in about another twenty years.
It DOES doesn’t IT?
The changlets have been genetically modified to take a more human form, and cut out the Bird-Person DNA.
That’s a relief. Hopefully you’re not all still wearing those bizarre yellow shoes that look superficially like trainers but actually have no laces and seem to be more like plastic clogs.
No, I’m into regular shoes now. It got harder and harder to source them. Mattel were unwilling to size up any of their plastic Ken shoes so I had to move on.
Your plastic Ken days are behind you. Thankfully.
Your plastic Ken says are, thankfully, behind you.
Why would my plastic Ken say “are, thankfully, behind you” ? Is he some sort of confused pirate variant?
Yes, yes he is. Apologies for my poor punctuation in the previous post. It should have said, “Arg! Thankfully behind you!” or ye depending on how pirate your Plastic Ken Pirate is.
I’d now like to enquire about what Kev’s plastic Ken means when he says the sentence “Thankfully behind you!”. It reads to me like a fragment of a longer sentence that doesn’t make sense on its own, though I don’t know why that would be.
Shouldn’t it be Ken’s Plastic Kev?
No it shouldn’t. That’s not what we are talking about. Stop being evasive.
So… so what you’re saying is that I’m trying to be abrasive?
You are very abrasive, especially in the Viso/Volto region.
Yeah. Italy’s finest chefs recommend your face as the ideal surface on which to grate hard cheeses such as Parmigiano Reggiano and Grana Padano.
They can try although I expect all of the eyes will get in the way of any cheese-based action.
That’s true. You’d get cheesy eyes.
Are “cheesy eyes” a type of eye you have yet to have installed on your face?
They are a new one on me. They sound like a very early prototype and one which is far too experimental for me to start installing on my face.
Let me refer it to the boys in the lab and come back to you.
I can wait. I think this will be a good one. If I like it enough I might get my own.
So what is it about cheesy eyes that appeals to you after months, or possibly years, of me telling you about my own face and eye developments, none of which took your fancy?
My existing eyes are versatile enough to do basic seeing, watching, peering, ogling and glancing. What they can’t do is exude melted cheddar. And that’s what I’m after.
Why didn’t you say so? I could have been working on this YEARS ago if you’d mentioned it sooner.
I’ll get right on it. Eyes that bleed out cheese! It seems so obvious now.