User avatarLemon drizzle

If you ask the question
About what is the best one,
The bakery transcendent,
The cakery resplendent:
I answer it with ease, take
Away your silly cheesecake.
Gingerbread and Eccles
Will meet only with my heckles;
Pineapple upside-down
Meet the deepest darkest frown.
You will find I have no time
For fondant fancy or key lime;
Though partial to a parkin,
There is only one worth markin’.
I tip my hat as witness
To the cake with all the citrus:
Lemon drizzle cake
Is the shizzle cake,
The finest there is,
Lemon driz
Is the biz.

23 comments to Lemon drizzle

  • Were you inspired by our rap battle to start spitting rhymes?

  • Were you inspired by our spit battle to start rapping rhymes?

  • Were you inspired by our rhyme battle to start rapping spits?

  • Were you inspired by our battle rhymes to start spit rapping?

  • No, I was not; no, I was not; no, I was not; and no, I was not.

    I was inspired by lemon drizzle cake. As should you be.

    (There is no joke in this comment because I take lemon drizzle cake very seriously.)

  • I feel as though you would have written a haiku if you were serious about lemon drizzle cake. Poems are way more flouncy.

  • Piffle. Tish. Nonsense. Pah. Never. Absurd. Pfft. Rubbish. Etc.

    A haiku is too easy. The poem I wrote was an epic achievement.

  • (was that a haiku?)

    Was it intended to be a poem or a rap? Is there a difference?

    Is THIS art?

  • (It wasn’t a haiku.)

    My lemon drizzle effort was unequivocally a lemon drizzle poem effort. I don’t reach straight for the rap.

  • But IS it ART?

  • Everything I do is art, excluding going to the toilet.

  • You didn’t even draw a picture of some lemon drizzle, didn’t even take a picture. How can we know that you even ate any? Perhaps you stole it from a shop, like Kev did that one time in Northumberland.

  • That was an accident. And technically you stole it.

  • Technically we were all part of the crime and that is not the way I will re-tell the story when the police ask.

  • I don’t see why I needed to draw a picture of some lemon drizzle cake, nor do I see how drawing such a picture would prove that I ate any.

    The only thing – the only thing – that has been proven here beyond reasonable doubt is that I paid for my cake and Kev should have a criminal record.

  • I concur. Kev needs to stop being a criminal and either share the fruits of his dastardly schemes or hand himself into the police.

    He could have got your that lem-driz cake for free. Yes, it would have been stolen cake and may not have tasted so sweet but you would have save fifteen London pounds or however much it costs for a slice of cake down there these days.

  • To be fair, we all ate the stolen cake, because he did share it, and in legal terms we might be implicated in the crime. But I don’t see why we need to mention that to the rozzers.

  • My question, which ignores everything else so far, is why didn’t you use Nizzle in your writing?

    A perfect opportunity to include him and you pass by the wayside. BY the WAYSIDE. Why?

  • It may have been my cake that was accidentally removed from a shop, but I still maintain that as the person carrying the bag full of cake, it was Ian what did the removing.

  • Since Ian’s question ignores everything else so far, I will ignore it. As will Nizzle.

  • I had bad ass, or bad stomach, or indigestion or whatever you call it. I was not feeling myself, otherwise the police would have been involved.

    HA HA!

    Also, I wasn’t well so my actions are pardoned. It’s still all Kev’s doing.

  • Clearly. I wasn’t aware that police now decided on whether or not to prosecute thieves based on how well their guts are/were. That is big news. Call a press man.

  • I think that change was introduced by the Noxious Guts Act (2017), which primarily applies to Ian.

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