Avatar Pointless Purchase of the Month – update

What I say may cause shock and distress. Viewer discretion is advised.

It is common knowledge that I am known to not only own several copies of the same thing but also sometimes to never open said copies of things. This has been well documented through my own hands over the years. It is a habit that I can see the problems with but very rarely choose to do anything about because I’m an adult and also fuck you.

That said, times are changing. The ‘me’ from many years ago doesn’t exist anymore (the less said abut 2007 ‘me’ the better) and has been replaced with a more sleek, streamlined edition with lots of bells and whistles. I am the go-faster-stripes model of Ian Bonobo Cupcake Mango Ice “Multiple Copies” McIver and I expected to be replaced again within the next few years.

Take a look at this:

Delicious steelbook action

Eagle-eyed viewers (none of you) may remember a post I made in 2014 (see http://pouringbeans.com/pointless-purchase-of-the-month-july/) explaining my reasons for my pointless purchase. Nintendo have seen fit to release an HD version of this game for the Switch. It is no longer a Pointless Purchase (TM) for the following reasons:

  1. I started playing the game on my Wii Mini a few months back before the re-release on the Switch.
  2. I now have the Wii Motion Controller meaning that I can actually play it.
  3. I have a Switch, I have opened the game and I will be starting again from scratch. I can play the game multiple times on two different consoles.

Therapy is no longer needed. Time, as it turns out, is not only a healer but a way of fixing your brain to more acceptable methods in today’s modern society. It’s also a lot cheaper and doesn’t involve telling a stranger why you get movement in your trousers when browsing the fruit and veg aisle at Tesco.

I can see Kevin’s rage dissipating the more I type. It brings me great job knowing that his anger has been abated through my selfless actions.

You’re welcome, everyone. And I even cancelled the order for the amiibo. How’d you like them apples?

9 comments on “Pointless Purchase of the Month – update

  • I wouldn’t say dissipating, but I guess if you actually use the pap you buy then I have no real reason to be angry. Even if it is the 9th time you’ve bought the same game just because the box is different, or that Nintendo finally realised that 2012 has happened.

    As for your ‘fruit boners’ you probably should get the seen to. (Whaaaaaaaaaaaay! What?)

  • Can’t wait. I’m going to bring a Stanley knife so we can get through all the packaging more quickly. It’s often very fiddly otherwise.

  • I’m so pleased that you’re taking an interest in my interests. Perhaps we could sit in a circle and open one by one at a time? I could bring out the special editions as a kind of dessert.

  • So you don’t want me to pile them up all fancy on a special trolley and wheel them into the room, possibly whilst the theme tune from the film ‘Flash Gordon’ is playing in the background?

  • If you like. Then we can rip them all open, throw all the bits in a pile and play with all of it like an 80’s christmas.

  • Perfect. We can light a fire to throw all the packaging on, and then mix up the bits so that it’s impossible to tell what belongs with what.

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