User avatar Sport: know the risks

It’s coming home, apparently. That much is now received wisdom. But what does this mean for you? Please read and memorise this important guide for your own safety.

Beans Laboratories have conducted a range of scientific tests* on Sport and have raised the Sport Threat Level to “Steady On”, its highest level since the 2012 […]

User avatar Monty Don – Petition Update

Hi Guys

So, I believe that we are all in receipt of the petition, and when I say “the petition” you know fine well which petition I mean. Yes, it’s the one to get my main man Monty Don back up onstage with a microphone in his hand to rip the world in two with […]

User avatar Loudermilk

Loudermilk. Loudermilk. Is it a request? “This milk is a little quiet for my liking; could I have some Loudermilk please?”

Is it a company? A Finnish crime drama?

It’s none of these things. Loudermilk is a surname. I recently caught the beginning of an episode of what seems like an endless stream of Power […]

User avatar Fashion Guru

After the roaring success of my washing machine repair business, I have been on the lookout for another venture to dip my respective success toes in. I have been inundated with suggestions from fans as to what I can apply my brilliant effortless skills to but nothing seemed quite right. That is until I took […]

User avatar Call the lawyers

I have recently learned of some remarkable similarities between a song by the world’s most popular bands, The Papples, and another rock/pop act. It would not be exaggerating things to say that this appears to be a shameless, barefaced act of plagiarism.

Remind yourself, if you will, of the track Tigerplane vs Chickencopter from the […]

User avatar Vincent “Hangman” Price

On a recent sojourn in Carlisle, I was browsing the shops like the pavement-walking, job-dodging, gum-chewing cad that I am. In one particularly well-known charity shop I came across this little curio:

I did an actual double take. I looked then had to look again. Is that… was that… THE Vincent Price on the […]

User avatar Garforth takes its place in the history of rave

You might think that our humble home town of Garforth has a very low key history that starts with coal mining and ends with the time Tesco moved into the old Safeway’s. The people living there might have enjoyed listening to music but it has no famous musicians. Nearby Kippax can claim The Music as […]

User avatar Playdays – The Extended Edition

During the 1990’s children all over the UK were enthralled and entertained by ‘Playdays’, a pre-school television programme by the BBC. I was an addict and I would happily sit and watch as many and as much of it as I could. It was before the days of binge watching, or box set binging. You […]