I’m delighted to announce the launch of my own personal high quality alcoholic spirit, Inginuity.
It’s a high quality gin, with a superior blend of botanicals that together produce a slightly sweet and satisfyingly spicy way to get hammered.
Like any gin, it has a base of juniper, orris root, coriander seed and angelica root – those alone would simply make it a London Dry. To this my team of expert blenders (me) have added the essence of Yorkshire Gold tea, pink peppercorns, cassia bark, lemongrass, lime, fennel seed, rosemary and rosebud. These were carefully chosen because they tasted the nicest when I tried all the things I could put in it, and because one of them is from Yorkshire.
Anyway, much as I’d like you to try Inginuity – either in a classic G&T, or perhaps a martini, or even just straight from the bottle like a hobo – it’s such a classy, small-batch drink that only one bottle was produced. But if we ever do get that lucrative distribution contract with a major supermarket, you’ll be the first to know.
9 comments on “Inginuity”
I’ll take three bottles.
He’ll take three bottles.
That’s three times the amount of this product that exists. Demand is absolutely out of control. This is like that Prime energy drink all over again.
Can you breed some more? I’m not an alcoholist but I presume you take a whisky and a vodka, put on some sexy music and leave them for twenty minutes?
I’ll be honest, by the time I’d finished with this I was four cocktails down and would struggle to remember much about the process. But there was definitely sexy music involved.
Chris and his sexy brewing. Chris and the Sexy Brewers. You could storm the charts with that. The new Robert Palmer except your all female band are dressed in boiler suits and face masks. Doubly sexy.
Phwoarrrr. You know I can’t handle myself around a boiler suit. Especially if it’s zipped right the way to the top and a bit too long so it’s baggy around the ankles.
You’re right. You’d explode or something. Perhaps think about downgrading it from a boiler suit to one of those beekeeper suits, still just as sexy but on a smaller scale.
Would they be done up tightly at the cuffs to remove any possible sight of female flesh? If so he might have a downstairs moment.