Recently we got a new treadmill thing, which allows you to go for a walk inside your house. This is useful for exercise and also for avoiding scenery if the natural world is disgusting to you.

I took a look at the instructions to see if there was any important information there that wasn’t immediately obvious when looking at the four-button control panel (on, off, faster, slower). It told me some vital information about the dimensions and operating parameters of the machine.

And then, at the bottom, it told me something else.

I don’t know what it’s going to do to me. I don’t know what its plan is.

I only know that, in the end, it will win.