Crisis in the world today as the World Margaret Organisation launches counterattack against the virtual virus spreading through the nations.
Through general word of mouth as well as a fitting and rather catchy song, the expression, “Stick it up your Margaret” has swept through the population like Romans at an orgy. We’ve seen everything from Tik Toks to vox pops, viral videos, memes and more tweets than a batch of fresh hens. Most people see it as a fad that will fade into obscurity within a few months however those who have been on the receiving end of it have not been able to take it in quite the same way.
As with most things, certain people have taken it a step too far. Leader of the World Margaret Organisation, Margaret Margarine, explains.
“It started off as something quite tame and within a few weeks has turned into something revolting and puerile. We’ve had reports of other Margarets being harangued in the streets by random passers by, heckling them with threats of sticking things up them. Now I’m not opposed to having someone wear me like a mink glove but only in the right context. The many Margarets in not only this fine nation but also further afield are being bullied and it’s just not on.”
Reports of “Margaret misalignment” as some experts are calling it have increased two thousand per cent since the beginning of January, helped by the popularity of social media platforms and general human silliness.
“Our dedicated helpline,” Margaret continues, “is available 24/7 for those who wish to document these instances to help the police round up those responsible. There haven’t been many arrests so far yet I am confident that as long as us Margarets stick together we will make it through this!”
During the early hours of the morning, the World Margaret Organisation issued a press release which reiterated these comments but also struck back with a sign of retaliation not expected. The WMO have written not one but two of their own jingles, “Slide it back to Colin” and “Bunty’s got your number.” A third effort entitled, “Force it up your Richard” was deemed too racy and dropped at the last minute.
The Dynasty of Colins and the Bunty Bouquet are yet to comment.
16 comments on “Newsboost – Margaret Malfunction”
I have been really enjoying singing “slide it back to Colin” and “Bunty’s got your number” to the well-known tune of “stick it up your Margaret”. Excellent work, WMO.
It’s about time for Bunty to make a comeback and if she’s got your number, well, we’re all in for one hell of a ride.
I have a question. Even though the song “force it up your Richard” was dropped by the WMO, am I still allowed to sing it?
It was too racy for the WMO but it’s bang on the fashions for a ker-azy guy like you.
Run with it, baby, run with it.
It’s going to be the new name for my house. I’m getting it put on a classy bit of slate to go by the front door.
My new address is:
Force it Up Your Richard
Hampshire
Near France
Make sure you find someone on Etsy to do it for you, that way you know your £200.00 is well spent.
I’m going to order this one, but with the text “Force it Up Your Richard”.
You’re one classy dame. France has done you the world of good.
It’s been a long time since I was last called a classy dame. It made me feel so classy that I immediately got my feather boa out of the loft.
I hope it was knitted. If not, you know what you have to do.
Can you knit with feathers?
I thought that “what I have to do” in this situation is an interpretive dance, so I did that. Now I’m doubting myself.
Kate is in for a wild night whatever happens (i.e. dancing, feathers, knitting).
Yes, but the golden rule is never to knit while dancing.
Yes… but can you knit with feathers?
I feel as though he’s not going to let this go until you answer the question.