User avatar Litter

Yes. I see. I see what you did.

You read it, and an idea formed in your head, and you thought it would be funny.

Well, it’s not funny.

OK, it is funny. But you still shouldn’t do it.

[…]

User avatar Mrs Miggins is up to no good

Back in April, we learned that Mrs Miggins was redeveloping the heart of her enormous property empire. 75 Farringdon Road, the fine property where either Ian or I fell head over heels in love with the lucrative old crone, had the builders in.

I’ve been back to see what she’s done with the place, […]

User avatar Bean Grab – Jan 2020!

Look everyone, look over there… Just there, you see that green bit, yeah, just behind that… no left a bit.Haha, whilst you’re all looking over there I’m sneaking off to Chris’ statistical bean cupboard and pinching one. What are you going to do? You’re off looking at that thing over there.

Got one!

Whats […]

User avatar Pirate alert

He’s going to shiver your timbersHe’s likely to buckle your swashHis pieces of eight count big numbersHis galleon’s full of his dosh

A roistering-doistering fighterHis enemies all have been sankHe’ll make your pockets feel lighterJust before you walk the plank

It’s not like he wants to be BluebeardIt’s a lifestyle that […]

User avatar Dear Zara

Dear Zara,

It’s been a while since we last spoke. How are you? What have you been up to? Did you manage to achieve all your hopes and dreams or are you still pissing your life up the wall like the rest of us? Well, whatever it is you are doing to pass the […]

User avatar Stickless

Well, we knew it would happen, but we didn’t think it would be this soon.

The Stick is gone.

We knew, of course, that The Stick had got itself a taste for adventure. We knew also that it had been deposited at the foot of the wrong kind of tree. So perhaps it’s no […]

User avatar As good as new

A while ago I bought a new car, as you might remember. (It replaced a large tin of beans I was temporarily driving, and is in every way better.) I liked driving a new car. The only sad thing about it is that, once you’ve been driving it for a while, it’s not new […]

User avatar Umbrellagate

I was very angry about it, I can tell you. I swore liberally and at considerable length.

Wait. Let me go back a bit.

So, last night I went to some birthday drinks for Robin, a friend of mine and a fine upstanding citizen. We met in a pub on the south bank in London. […]