User avatar Pirate alert

He’s going to shiver your timbersHe’s likely to buckle your swashHis pieces of eight count big numbersHis galleon’s full of his dosh

A roistering-doistering fighterHis enemies all have been sankHe’ll make your pockets feel lighterJust before you walk the plank

It’s not like he wants to be BluebeardIt’s a lifestyle that […]

User avatar Four Word Reviews: ‘Til Their Eyes Shine

I started these reviews when I got sent a Wang Chung album as a joke, and Kev and Sarah had just reviewed a Papples album in this format, and I thought it was a fun thing to do with a CD I’d been sent. Then more CDs started arriving. But I never thought we’d end […]

User avatar Not What You Think

Look at this:

What you’re looking at is a blackboard located at my local IKEA which I recently visited. Now I am mostly an open-minded person but I am quite averse to worshiping characters of any kind, whether religious, fictional, good or evil, when I am browsing home furnishings.

I can only imagine the […]

User avatar Things! Ep. 2 – Poodle Euthanasia

After we premiered the first episode of Things! last month, it’s starting to look like this series might be the hot new TV property for 2016. Already we’ve had enquiries from prestigious TV stations in Yemen and Herzegovina about buying this lucrative format.

For those of you wishing to see the series in English, here’s […]

User avatar Lukewarm Toothpaste

Winter hits the roofs of many, Like death would touch the life of Kenny. There’s nothing to revive the heat, A fanciful, audible, minty treat. That is, or was, or should have been Until now. I have foreseen The future, oh it blinds my gaze, This thing will astound and amaze. You need to see […]

User avatar The Majestic Bird Goose

Some say that the name Bird Goose is one descriptive word too many. Some may be right, but the majestic Bird Goose cares not for those people. In fact he poops in their garden and then struts away (seen above).

Bird Goose is an excellent strutter and can often be found swaggering, striding or […]

User avatar Spooky Hallowe’en Post

You open your web browser and make your way to the Beans as the rain pours down. As you turn the handle on the great oak door leading in to the website, lightning crackles in the distance. Inside, instead of being orange coloured, it’s dark and scary.

You fumble with the light switch but the […]

User avatar WHO DID THIS…

Oh yeah… Me.

I opened the Character Hatch, I wanted to find the bell tower. How much harm could it do? It’ll be fine. Right?