Avatar Quack Shoes (shoes that go quack)

It’s a well-known fact
When your shoes start to quack
You need to buy a new pair.
Are there ducks in your shoes?
No, it’s time to peruse
Before people point and stare.
You can ignore the noise
Go back to your toys
Pretend it’s someone else’s feet.
Stick your head in the sand,
But heed my command, those
Ducks are bound to speak.

It’s a little-known fact
(Speculation to be exact)
That ducks have a hatred of shoes.
They can’t find a set
Whether dry or quite wet
To fit without making a bruise.
Their feet are so queer
No matter how they steer
They won’t fit any slipper or high heel.
So, they’ve all had enough
Thrown away all the stuff
And pretend it’s not a big deal.

9 comments on “Quack Shoes (shoes that go quack)

  • I have to say, the rhymes and rhythm of your poetry is genuinely improving. I was delighted and charmed by this. My congratulations.

  • We’re all struggling every month. This whole website is a 16-year-long experiment in continuously scraping the barrel.

  • “Gold in the Turds” would be the name of the tie-in Pouring Beans book of rehashed blog posts we could publish for the Christmas market.

  • Would it merely be a printed version of the website but condensed so that we can sell about six volumes of it over the course of a few years to really bleed those consumers dry?

  • Yes, but with additional reminiscences from us at the bottom of every page.
    “I remember this post well, I tossed it off in five minutes on the last day of the month when I had no ideas but I was one short of getting my bean. And – ha! it was – ha ha! – it was the funniest thing, because after I’d written it – ho ho, hoooo! – I categorised it as ‘Kev Hasn’t Posted Anything In Ages’ and – oh, dear, me, ha ha! – that was quite the zinger in his direction, I can tell you!”

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