Avatar Ruislip Man

I think I’m on to something big here, but I want to know if you think it’s marketable *finger window*.

I moved to Ruislip back in August and immediately noticed that this large and important suburb was entirely missing its own superhero. I have decided it is my civic duty to fill this clear gap. I am, therefore, going to transform myself into… Ruislip Man.

Here’s my first publicity photo. I think you’ll agree it’s pretty heroic.

Hopefully, once I’ve saved a few old ladies trying to cross the street and rescued a few cats from trees, Ruislip Man will be a household name, paving the way for a lucrative range of spin-off toys, stationery and action figures.

Incidentally, I’m now recruiting for a sidekick. Let me know if you’d like to apply and what your suitably suburban superhero name would be.

30 comments on “Ruislip Man

  • Ruislip Man and Knife Strike. Yes. I like that. Though I’d advise you not to carry an actual knife as the police take a dim view of that round here.

  • You need to work on your heroic face, you look more like a disgruntled stranger.

    Which leads me on to my sidekick name… Disgruntled Stranger.

  • I would say less disgruntled and more guilty, definitely trying to hide something…

  • That’s not my heroic face. I am looking stern, so that villains and neer-do-wells understand what a dim view I take of their antics. Ruislip Man will avenge their wrongdoing.

  • You’d take a dim view on anything with a face like that. If you’re going to promote yourself you need a PR man.

    I’m that man. I’ve got PR pumping through all holes 24hrs a day, baby.

  • That sounds like the most repulsive PR I’ve ever heard of. Count me in. On behalf of myself and Disgruntled Stranger, welcome to the team.

  • I like “Northwood and Pinner”, but it might work better as the title of a gentle daytime TV drama about two solicitors.

    How about “I take a dim view of your antics”?

  • My MP is Boris Johnson and I would prefer not to correspond with him. What do we all think of “come along now, there’s a good chap”?

  • I looked at that, left it, came back and it still isn’t working for me.

    How about, “what I lack in strength and speed I more than make up for with sass?”

  • How about, “Oopsie Daisy!”?

    I think Kev’s attempt is good although it should end with “… bad boy!” so you can really camp it up big style.

  • You’d sound more like Penfold (i.e. the sidekick) if you chose that. Avoid, avoid like a woman crying on some stairs.

  • It works for me, but then again most things work for me. As long as they don’t make sense. Which is almost everything. And the structure of these sentences.

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