It was a nice evening. Everyone was there, everyone was having a nice time. Some of them had even managed to get hold of a drink and were feeling a little merry. Around the table tiny foods were consumed and the party spirit was rampant.
Suddenly the picture changed. Swinging through the air and landing on the table was the Evil Minion. His pallid, sickly yellow skin and greasy, limp hair were a sickening sight. Some of those with weaker stomachs had to turn away. He had landed squarely in front of the Partymaster, the Birthday Boy himself, and was presenting his foul dungarees as an unwashed challenge to us all. In front of him, on the table, was what looked like a small brown cake, but we knew it was really an explosive device, set to blow the whole deal sky high.
Mr Chang, the brave party thrower, was quick with his Samurai breadknife, beheading the Evil Minion in one smooth movement. He didn’t stand a chance to detonate his destructive delicacy. The show was over. A second blow bisected what remained of his torso, spilling hideous guts everywhere.
The emergency services arrived to cordon off the scene and the party dispersed into the Leeds night, some being rushed to hospital for trauma, and others the walking wounded, safe tonight but consigned to a lifetime of therapy to help them through their harrowing ordeal. As I got up to leave the scene, I dealt a blow for all that was good in the world and all that was right. My strong fist of justice obliterated what was left of the Minion’s grisly remains. I fisted that Minion good.
For as long as there are good people like me in the world, evil will not prevail.
8 comments on “The Fist of Justice”
I was seated several placings away from the incident so I wasn’t there to witness it first hand. However, I did hear murmerings concerning the aforementioned incident from two old ladies stood at a bus stop a couple of days after.
That’s understandable. It was a major news event. I believe Changski is in line for the Queen’s Medal for Astonishing Bravery, while I myself have been tipped for the Royal Order of the Vengeful Serf.
I may receive a runner up award for ‘Best Attempt at Eating Everything’ given how much food I went through. They definitely needed to serve more chips and egg though. I love English food when you don’t go to an English restaurant, it feels so much more spesh.
Yes, it was a good night for English food with foreign names. I enjoyed egg and chips, sausages in ketchup and a couple of helpings of meatballs.
While I’m away on holiday next week I’m hoping to exclude all that foreign muck from my diet by using similar tactics.
I trust then that you will be secreting a hearty portion of bangers and mash to your person so that you can help yourself during your extended leave from da Beans.
I will be keeping an emergency balloon full of gravy in my pocket for emergencies.
It was a harrowing ordeal, and one which i hope to never have to repeat.
We were all lucky that that ceremonial breadknife was to hand or things would have got messy.
If you hadn’t jumped in when you did and sorted that guy out, well, I’m not sure that we would all be here to tell and re-tell and tell again the story. God bless Chang.
You were Chang-tabulous.