Category: Mine

Avatar Christmas mop-up

Another Christmas has died and been buried in the garden. The tree is crackling nicely in the fireplace and the leftover cake has been used to block up a hole in the kitchen wall where a pipe used to come through.

Let’s see how we did.

Wearables

  • Pack of ten socks

Edibles

  • Box of orange Matchmakers

Readables

  • Jeremy Paxman’s autobiography

Motoring accessories that duplicate things I got for free in a nice presentation pack from the garage when I bought my new car but I’m too polite to tell anyone

  • Paintwork cleaner
  • Dashboard polish
  • Bug shifter sponge
  • Car washing sponge
  • De-icer spray
  • Screenwash

Avatar How much stuff I own

Moving house is many things, principal among them a pain in the arse. But it is also a golden opportunity to put everything you own in one place and see how much of it there is.

On Friday, I took this van (with exciting tail lift on which I rode up and down a number of times):

img_4291.jpg

I then inserted into it all my shite:

img_4292.jpg

The amount of stuff I own is therefore precisely the amount of stuff you see above, plus the clothes I was wearing and a Peugeot 207.

I hope this has been as informative and satisfying for you as it has been for me.

Avatar Kitty ownership question

The other day, I found a kitty on the street near my flat and stopped to stroke it. The kitty then followed me all the way home and was quite insistent that the stroking should continue. It was all set to follow me right into the flat and the only way I could stop it coming into the building with me was to distract it temporarily while I ran inside.

This is the kitty.

I have seen the kitty on one other occasion, when my family were visiting, and it seemed equally keen to spend time with all of them. We decided to name her Kevinetta.

My question is this. The kitty appeared to want to come and live with me, but I suspect someone else thinks the kitty lives with them. If I see the kitty again, can I keep it?

Avatar Licenced

What do you do when life makes you weary? How do you lift your spirits from a state of malaise? Well, I don’t know what you do, but I get myself down to the Lego Store with my VIP card on double points day.

On Monday I bought this.

bus

I haven’t actually built it yet because I’m, you know, preparing to move house and everything, but it’s sitting there in its box just waiting for me. The anticipation alone is enjoyable. Anyway, this particular set is only available from the five Lego Stores in London at the moment – nowhere else and not online – and if you took the trouble to go down there and get one, and you flash them your VIP card like I did, you get handsomely rewarded with extra qualifications. My new set came with this.

Yes, you saw right. I am now the proud holder of documentation that proves I am qualified to build and drive this bus. (The cards are individually numbered so I think I’m only the 209th person to get it as well.)

So in future, if you want to build some Lego, that’s fine, but you won’t be getting anywhere near this one unless you’re the holder of a driving licence like I am.

Avatar Annual Christmas Roundup

Another Christmas has been and gone, so we’d better start wiping up the spillages and straightening the furniture.

Let’s see what Santa’s sack disgorged into my lap this year.

Comestibles

  • Little Italian biscuits with almonds in them
  • A selection of cheeses
  • Usual assortment of chocolates

Drinkables

  • Nice bottle of wine
  • Crate of 20 bottles of Budweiser (it’s so me)
  • Mug with a bear on it

Enjoyables

  • Theatre tickets
  • Room escape game tickets
  • Lego architecture set

Tea towels

  • Public Service Broadcasting tea towel
  • Mr Smith tea towel
  • David Bowie’s Big Boy Runaround tea towel

If anyone got more tea towels than me this year, I’d like to hear about it. But for me, the best Christmas present of all is my twelfth bean of 2015. It’s been a wall-to-wall bean-filled year for me on the Beans. Happy Christmas.