User avatarCompetition Winner

Here we have it. The results that you have all been sweating to see. The list that determines who wins the competition. After a nail-biting couple of minutes I have decided that the top three answers are as follows:

3. STOP TEXTing my BOTTOM, TEXT my face instead.

2. My lapTOP TEXT is too small, I will shoot it with this machine gun until my pet roBOT, TOM TEXT, fixes it.

1. I use gun to acquire TOP TEXTiles from Colombia, I smuggle inside superB OTTOMan. TEXTiles is cutthroat business these days.

Yes, Kevin, you are the winner. Had you written your entry like a normal human being rather than a half-drunken racist impersonating a Chinese man you may not have succeeded in your efforts. We’re all proud of you.

Here’s to you and your wrong words!

18 comments to Competition Winner

  • Huzzah!

    Do I get some sort of money based recognition of my awesomeness?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Money based, maybe. Not actual money though. Or we shall see. Do golden coloured biscuits count as money?

  • Yes. Or Galaxy Golden Eggs.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Golden Galaxy Eggs? Don’t be such a fool, no such thing exists. Next you’ll be talking about them Gist trucks again.

  • I’m a bit disappointed that not only did I lose out to Kev, but he actually got two of his entries in the top three, leaving me in an uncomfortable Kev sandwich.

    Is there any prize for second place?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    The price for second place is a Kev sandwich.

  • If that is the price then I am clearly already paying it. But what is the prize?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    You’ll see. Patience is both a virtue and also an eight letter word.

  • When will I see? Will I see soon? I know you’ve seen me keen but have you seen when I’ll see?

  • I have received, eaten and enjoyed my prize. Many thanks my Prize Master.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I have seen when you’ll see and it will be very soon.

    Yo win, Yo treat, big up the prize winning community!

  • I can’t wait until I see. I’m keen to see when I see. And you’ve seen me keen so you can see how I look while I wait to see when I see.


  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Yeah… wait, what?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I can’t wait until I send to you what I will be sending for you to see with your seeing eyes. Your eyes will seen what will be sent and has been soon with eyes, and hands. Just see.

  • I will see, as soon as I’m able to see what it is you’re saying that you’re sending to me. Until you send it and I see it I’m afraid I’ll just have to do without seeing it, you see.

    I think the situation’s pretty clear.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Did you receive the thing that I sent for you to see with your own sight?

  • I did. I’m not sure that I have the words to adequately convey the feelings or thoughts I experienced as I opened it. But I can tell you this: it was absolutely delicious.

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