So, here’s a thing that just happened.
I logged in to the Beans and there were lots of updates pending, and because I’m a helpful sort of chap, I said yes, let’s run those updates. The updates have installed WordPress 5.0.2.
You may or may not care about that, and certainly when it finished doing its clever whizbottery I was, at best, nonplussed. But it turns out that one of the things that has changed is the editor where you write new posts. It is different. It is more different than anything you’ve ever seen. Right now, while you’re reading this, you don’t believe me, and you’re thinking that it’s just a box where you type stuff and it can’t be that different.
But you’re wrong.
It’s so different.
There isn’t even a box.
If you want to figure out how to make it do stuff, there are some words here that will explain things. I bequeath you this important document to assist you on your journey of discovery.
Good luck, comrades. Good luck as we march onwards, to face our destiny, toward the brave new beans of 2019.
22 comments on “Cooking new beans”
I wing, wang, wungled it and managed to post without the tutorial. When I saw that you’d done a new post I thought it may have had a video attached and IMMEDIATELY clicked on that sucker.
See, I’m trying to be a better man. My name is Earl.
Yeah. It’s not that difficult, it’s just that pretending it was difficult helped me wring one last post out of the old girl for December and score a delicious bean.
I did notice that but I chose to ignore it, because we’ve all “phoned it in” every once in a while.
Except Kev, who doesn’t necessarily phone them in as sends a telegram every one hundred years.
My keyboards all broke and I’ve had to resort to accessing The Beans via morse code. It takes me so long to send each sentence I get bored and go start another thing.
Surely as a wholesaler of wireless Abbas’s you can provide another keyboard? Wait, let me speed this up.
.–. .-. . … ..- — .- -… .-.. -.– / – …. .. … / — . .- -. … / -.– — ..- .-. / -.- . -.– -… — .- .-. -.. / -… .-. — -.- . / .. -. / . .- .-. .-.. -.– / ..— —– .—- ….-
Maybe Kev should start a Twitter account about it and that’ll keep him occupied for another few days.
I put that in a translator and it said: “rresutabl???his?teans??tur?ke?btard?brtke?in?earl??u?w4”
Is it any wonder it took me so long to interract?
Chris you saucy devil. The ladies of London are lucky to have you and also thanks for adding to the 2019 filth pile.
Some youth once wrote that on a wall in York and it made a countess faint.
We need to try and invent some way for Kev to interact with the modern world. Any ideas?
If a butler could deliver me a succinct precis of whats new in the modern world each day on one of those red velvet cushions, I think I’d like that. Would that work for you?
If by butler you mean the changlet and if my red velvet cushions you mean a stack of chunder or a dirty nappy then yeah, that seems as if it could work.
That’s a good compromise. Deploy this at once.
I can run with that, but who’s going to write the precis each day and fax it to him?
You can run with it, can you? Hmm? Quick quick, go go go eh?
I thought the Changlet (or perhaps Changlet II) would be researching and presenting their own home-made chunders and dirty nappies. I don’t think you can expect the world to just furnish your children with these things. They have to work to achieve them.
If he’s not well then there’s no bloody point then, is there? If kids can’t do their own god damn research then I may as well shit in a helmet and pass it to the Royal Guard (what?).
No, I’m going back to my original request. I clearly asked for:
– a butler
– a succinct precis and,
– one of those red velvet cushions
The Changlet, presenting me with a shat nappy full of gibberish in no way represents the goings on of the modern world….. or does it?
Take a look at the window, boy; as far as I can see, everywhere is a shat nappy fully of gibberish.
I think this went wrong where Ian said we needed to invent some way for Kev to interact with the modern world. I don’t think it was wise to take on that responsibility, and I don’t like that he said “we”, which might imply that he’s roped me into this somehow. Personally I’m happy for Kev to have no interaction with the modern world.
Old Man Kevvers will stay nicely sown up in his mouldy sleeping bag of joy, freshly hidden away from the modern world.
In a similar vein, if we’re currently requesting things in the hope that Ian will do all the work in providing them, I’d like to request a helicopter.
Ooo let me see what I can do.
Leave it to me, I’ve got this.
I will be happy to accept a jellychopper, if it is either something made of edible jelly, or a tool for chopping jelly, though I would still prefer a helicopter.