This is my last post of 2018.
It hasn’t been the best of years for me personally however 2018 needs to end on a positive note. We must all remember that a new year means new possibilities and opportunities, and we must not dwell too much on the past. Try not to worry, this is not going to dip into one of those emotional, conscientious posts (did we ever have those?). Far from it. 2019 is going to be the year of…
Our demographic has been severely limited to say the least. We need to start attracting a crowd guaranteed to be scouring the internet at least 24/7. And who likes the internet? Everyone. Why? Because porn. Yes, starting next year we will be incorporating the best of adult entertainment into the already racy strands of Pouring Beans.
I can already tell you are salivating at the prospect of nudie pictures and hot videos of, erm, someone on someone action. And quite rightly so. We may be British but we can still rock it and shove it up the right place like the best of them.
So stay tuned for all of this and much, much more. Hot Beans (TM). 2019, baby.
24 comments on “Hot Beans (TM)”
Yes. YES. We have come a long way from the days when the Beans was so genteel that you used to spell “ass” with an asterisk. Now is the time for copious full-frontal nudity. If anything gets our visitor count above three, it’ll be that. (Or, realistically, two. Kev hasn’t visited since 2015.)
Exactly. None of that anymore, we’re going straight for the sensual pipes (what?)
We already have some pretty sleazy posts: Tom’s Sausage Lion, Dick the Brick, Hot Beans etc.
Yes. Pump that filth. As long as its not home made. Nobody wants to see your hair personage doing what it does. *throws up in a bin*
Have you considered the implications though? Like how you plan to implement the requirements for s25 of the Digital Economy Act 2017 (DEA)?
I think one way of ensuring we stay on the right side of the law will be to ensure that Ian does not appear in the filth we will begin pedalling, and nor do his fluffy pants.
I can reassure you and him and everyone else that I will not be any part of the filth. I will peddle it but not partake in it.
That’s the best way. Peddletake but don’t partake. Peter Stringfellow always said that, and I’ve always thought that if you’re walking in his footsteps you’re on the pathway to success.
His face is pretty well known. It’s not a pretty face but people know it. Possibly for the bad reasons. He liked peddling filth too, didn’t he? (waaaaaaaaaaaaay!)
I’ll be stoking the fires of filth towards the end of the month, next week in face.
It’ll make your drop your trousers in horror.
I did mean ‘fact’ instead of ‘face’ but having read it back I much prefer “next week in face”.
That should be a TV show. Next Week in Face. They’d tell you what all the latest trends were in the area of items that could be pushed into your face.
Can they give it to me? I’d be good at that.
I’ve got far too much face for one person as it is. It’s only fair I share it with the televisual world.
When you say give it to you, do you mean let you host it, or do you just mean push all the facial pushables into your face?
Either/or. My viso/volto is prepped and ready for SO many things being pushed into it.
Let’s be reasonable here; you can host it, because you’ve got the face (THE face) for television, and I’ll be the pushed face.
So I’m hosting the show, holding up all the latest things that can be pushed into a face so the camera can see them, and then we go over to your face, and I push each thing one by one into your face?
Man, that sounds bleak. I reckon Channel 5 will buy it.
Yes it’s bleak but it’s a ratings winner. Pass me a contract and owl sign it.
Can we have a special feature where we sometimes push things into an owl’s face too? Like… voles?
This answer is a two part answer and is as follows:
1) Normally I’d say yes but I think the RSPCA may get right on our heels once we start abusing animals on the telly. Which is a shame because I think the owls would love it;
2) If it’s about voles again then, sigh, Chris you need to go and see a specialist.
A vole specialist? Like, a vole priest?
It doesn’t work. You’ll have to see Volecular Biologist.
“Voliest” is the official title of the Archbishop of Voleterbury. As in “His Right Voliest Grace, the Archbishop”.
*takes a moment to place his head in his hands and let out a loud sigh*
Is this how you all feel when I do silly things all the time?
I much prefer when it’s the other way round.