Avatar Pointless Purchase of the Month – The Artist

Take a look around you right now and tell me what you can see. Can you see a shelf of shoes? Can you see a cat pawing at your conservatory door? Can you see two sailors quarrelling about figs? I expect that one or more of those things are within the reaches of your eyes (mental note: eye reach is a good thing) and I, for one, am very jealous that I cannot see them.

Jarrow does not have a lot of shops that one can peruse on a lunchtime. I have particular tastes so unless I’m in the mood for frozen food (Iceland) or ladies toiletries, or anyone’s toiletries really (Boots or Superdrug) I’m up a certain creek without a certain paddle. Thanks Jeebus then for Cash Convertors, peddling second-hand goods of a bizarre assortment and variety; it’s like having a carboot sale every day five minutes from work. Bliss.

I was most surprised then when, about to leave the shop, my noticing eyes noticed a peculiar sight. The stack of sad unloved DVDs and Blu-Rays sit on a shelf next to the cash register, close to the box of twelve inch vinyl records which I can guarantee have not been flicked through in years. There, in plain view for everyone to see, were copies of the film ‘The Artist’ on Blu-Ray. Not one, not two, not three but thirteen copies.

At that point I had never seen the film but remembered the Oscar buzz when it was originally released; a silent film about a silent film star struggling to cope with the transition to “talkies” after the advancements in technology and cinema but made in 2011. I left the shop however I returned a few days later. You may question my sanity and you would be right to do so. Why would one person need thirteen copies of the same movie? For 25p each I ask you, how could one person live with themselves knowing that they passed up on an opportunity to own thirteen copies of the same film? Exactly. I can’t justify it, deal with it.

As the member of staff scanned each Blu-Ray I was on the verge of asking how the store had come into possession of such a large quantity of the same film only he looked about as happy as a wet weekend in Bridlington so I came to the conclusion that it was better to not know. The reason would be lost in the sands of time. It was a blessing and I should not question it as such.

I watched the film and enjoyed it, it’s a lot darker than I expected it to be. There’s also a dog in it that’s way more impressive than most of the human cast because he’s clever and well-trained much like Eddie (or Moose if you will) from ‘Frasier’. Do I need thirteen copies of a great film? Of course not, yet I wouldn’t be able to write these words and possibly enrage Kevin by doing so without them. The best part is that eight of them are still sealed.

Happy trails!

8 comments on “Pointless Purchase of the Month – The Artist

  • I just had a look on eBay and it looks like these are going for about £2 a pop. Either you’re very attached to them or it’s high time you got listing.

  • I could make a cool £26.00? Not bad for only £3.25. You would need to deduct the Ebay costs though, make sure that postage wasn’t free. It sounds easier to keep a hold of them and send them to people as “silly” presents.

  • You do what you like, but I hope you understand that there are 13 potential buyers for The Artist on blu-ray and you’re turning down their cashola. That’s on you.

  • That’s a no, a no, and a big nen. I’m starting to think you don’t have any business instincts at all, sitting there firing out questions at me while thirteen TVs play thirteen versions of The Artist on repeat.

  • You’re going to have to make the benefits a bit more visible because at the moment I’m only seeing a small amount of space in your flat that could be storing something more useful if it wasn’t full of The Artist blu-rays.

  • You want visible benefits? VISIBLE benefits? I told you, I’m living proof. What more do you want? Actual evidence? Physical proof? Something you can put in your hand? Well doubting Johnny Thomas, look elsewhere.

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