Good day to you.
I am here to propose a change to this website in light of recent developments.
Recently things around here have been too exciting. In just the last three posts there has been talk of goats, owls and handkerchiefs. We cannot go on at this breakneck pace and our readership must surely be suffering from intolerable fatigue. Something has to change.
I now propose that we redirect our efforts and rename this website Boring Beans. In future, all posts must be classified as either “dull”, “tedious” or “soporific”. The colour scheme would be a relaxing mix of greys and beiges. Suitable topics for new posts will include:
- A discussion of the merits of different methods of preparation for potatoes
- A photo gallery of close-up pictures demonstrating the texture of a number of different bricks
- A list of names for different shades of brown
Please give this proposition your fullest consideration and respond with your payment in full by cheque within the next seven days.
Thank you for your time.
Dr. Christopher J. Numbers