User avatarThe brick

Recently I moved into a new flat, as described earlier. It’s nice. It’s got bedrooms and a kitchen and a balcony and some toilets and all that sort of thing.

Next to the front door, out in the hallway, it’s got a brick.

The brick is painted yellow.

The brick is mounted on canvas.

The brick is inside a perspex display case.

When you look down the hall, every flat has a yellow brick in a perspex display case to the left of the front door. We asked the landlord (who owns the building) why this might be the case. They said they weren’t sure, and they said it might be an artistic thing, and they said they think the flat number might be painted on it.

The flat number isn’t painted on it.

It’s just a brick.

13 comments to The brick

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I zoomed in on that; that didn’t help. What a baffling piece of decoration. You should ask your neighbours what the shizz is going on.

  • I wasn’t able to zoom in when standing in front of it but I did peer at it with my nose touching the Perspex. It didn’t help.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Did you use your peering eyes?

  • I did. Then my snifffing nose made a greasy spot on the plastic.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    How many noses do you have now then, given how you must have invested in more following my dazzling array of eyes?

  • Well, my snifffing nose (note the number of F’s) lives in a velveteen-lined attaché case which I keep in the top pocket of my tunic. It’s one of several but I prefer to be discreet about the others.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Ah, so you’re a closet pocket nose enthusiast. Not bad, not bad. I’d prefer you to be one of those instead of a open mouthed triple nosed bombastic amateur.

  • Excellent eye and nose work there, both of you. Really. I mean it. Excellent.

    Are they all yellow? I could maybe see the point if you were yellow flat and there was a blue one and a red one.

    Did you try writing to your local MP?

  • No, they’re all yellow.

    I haven’t written to my local MP yet, but I have had a word with the town crier. He says he’s going to do some shouting about it on Saturday so we’ll see if that gets us any results.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Your area is so posh. We don’t have a town crier, we have police arresting drunks. It’s practically the same thing though.

  • Do they do shouting?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    They do shouting. They do drunks. There’s flashing lights. It’s as much excitement as anyone needs on a Tuesday evening.

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