I think I deserve credit for not diving into this straight away after unleashing this hotch potch of box-ticking nostalgia bait. I waited a whole *checks* four months before phoning it in again. You’re welcome.

I also deserve a hearty pat on the back for writing a ‘quick post to earn a bean’ post nine days before the end of the month. I’m breaking all the rules of convention. What a trendsetter I am. You’re also welcome (God, this is exhausting).

We need some kind of awards ceremony to celebrate how great I am not just at being me but also being me in written form.

Anyway, enough of that. Let’s dive back into 2014 Ian to see what was going through his mind:

• An apple a day keeps the cold-calling telemarketing away
• Giant butt sea castle
• Torch eyes tours
• Dyslexic spelling error sky writer message
• Nuclear fallout – beetles and lens solution
• Learning to write with toothpaste is silly
• Sugar cube igloo
• Snake shoelaces. Worm shoelaces?
• Bulldog clips rep is misguided (?)
• Fruit tennis
• Return of the icing sugar squirrels (this one still makes me laugh)
• Napkins have feelings too, you know
• Bog roll binoculars
• Public trampolines
• New type of screwdriver

The rest of the ideas from this page were so good they were used in the Twitter feed because they’re all crossed out.

What a great time was had by all.