User avatarCynical Filler

What do you mean?

Who says that this is just a cynical ploy to cram in another post before the end of the month because I forgot to do others during the early part of December? Who says that I am writing whatever comes to mind just to fill enough space to constitute another post for me and my tally?

Who is daring to stand there accusing me of all these things? Who has the ten ton tissue balls to climb up on top of their work station to point the finger at me? Where the hell do you get off blaming me for these matters when there are much bigger, wider, nastier things that you could be accusing me of?

Wait, forget that last one…

Where is the cause for all this animosity when I have done nothing wrong? Why don’t you take a long, cool drink in the mirror and leave me alone scoffing in the corner, counting my beans and giggling like a mouse high on charcoal?

So there.

18 comments to Cynical Filler

  • I was one post short of getting a bean in December. I wish I’d done something as uncynical and noble as this.

  • I wonder how well Ian thought this post would go down?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I thought it would go down like a ton of concrete Bobby Constanzos.

  • How many concrete Bobby Constanzos will you get if you ask your newsagent to weigh out one ton of them?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    The conversion rate is not as good now as it was before the Christmas period. I believe that you’d get approximately seventeen concrete Bobby Constanzos, which is the best you’ll get until the pre-Easter decathlon.

  • That’s still not bad. That’s nearly 20 concrete Bobby Constanzos in my one-ton paper bag from the newsagent’s sweets counter. I assume they would tesselate enough to fit in the bath.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Bobby Constanzo is all about the tessellation. In fact, you could fill a whole bath tub with what Bobby Constanzo knows about tessellation.

  • Well that gets a smooth five stars from me.

    Unfortunately smooth stars have had all the pointy bits removed, so they’re effectively circles.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    How many of them can you get from your newsagents? I’ve got 17 pence.

  • How many circles?


    Nine. I can get nine from the inconveniece store over the road. But I don’t want to because they’re all a bit grubby.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Grubby circles. I think I have their first EP on twelve inch vinyl.

  • Was it crushed underfoot or is it not that valuable?

  • I tried to get the demo white label copy but I couldn’t. They had only thought about it, recorded the music, and just as it was about to be pressed into the vinyl the whole warehouse caught on fire.

    Mine is just the plain old boring limited edition multi-coloured numbered vinyl edition.

  • How many of them could I get from the newsagent? I’ve got 2 quid.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    You could have a whole box, still sealed, fresh from the mint, traceable…

  • That’s a lot of Grubby Circles limited edition multi-coloured numbered vinyl.

    I’ve thought about it and I don’t want any.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I’ll put you down for a couple in case you change your mind.

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