Avatar Derbyshire review

Until this summer I had not spent much of my life in Derbyshire. In fact, I will list for you the times I have spent in Derbyshire, if you like:

  • Passing through on the M1 between junctions 24 and 30, multiple times
  • Going to Alton Towers, three times
  • Visiting some friends for a weekend in 2009, though they actually lived in Staffordshire, but we did visit Derbyshire for a visit to a park

I think that’s it. Anyway, I went back last week for a longer stay and I now have a much better idea of what Derbyshire is like. I am, therefore, ready to provide my review of this county.


In Derbyshire I was able to go in three caves, ride one cable car, climb one big hill and explore four pleasant towns of various sizes. I also looked at approximately five hours of scenery while travelling around.

I give Derbyshire three stars for activities.



I stayed in a nice flat with a view out of the front window. It had a kitchen with running water and electric lighting in all rooms. The bathroom had an indoor toilet and those fancy “waterfall” taps that were fashionable about ten years ago. If this is typical of all dwellings in Derbyshire then it is a very modern county.

I give Derbyshire four stars for accommodation.


Food and drink

I ate an average of three meals per day while in Derbyshire, with at least one meal in a pub every day. With the exception of breakfast, I was able to have chips with every meal, and did so.

I give Derbyshire five stars for food.



Derbyshire has scored a total of twelve stars. Until someone rates another one, it is the only county that has any stars at all, which makes it objectively the best.

13 comments on “Derbyshire review

  • “It had a kitchen with running water and electric lighting in all rooms.”

    How many rooms did the kitchen have?

  • I would say it had more than ten, if you count each cupboard as a micro-room. I would also count the fridge (cold room) and oven (hot room). Only the main kitchen room and the cold room had electric lighting though.

  • A bean room? That sounds great. I’d have a custard room. You’d open the door and a wave of custard would sludge out around your ankles.

  • Not that you’ve seen it but similar to the famous scene from ‘The Shining’ starring Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall? They had red custard coming out of a lift, when you break it down to its basest qualities though it’s exactly the same.

  • Yes, a bit like that, but I wouldn’t put mine in a lift, for two reasons. One is that I want to know where my custard is at all times, so I don’t want some random tosser three floors up pushing a button and having my custard whizzing up and down the building at speed. The other is that the custard would interfere with the lift workings.

  • Absolutely not. Custard GPS is a rip off. As long as you keep your custard out of the lift, so it stays nice and still, there’s no need to track your custard by satellite. At least that’s what I keep telling Martin Lewis off the money saving website, but he won’t listen.

  • One of these days when he gets bombarded with custard-based questions he is going to come crawling back to you and you’ll be the one to ignore all his calls and texts. He’ll rue that day, boy, what a rueing that will be.

  • I’m a fan of the small bread room myself. Sarah not so much, she just puts the bread on the roof of the bread room, which defeats the object of having a bread room, but hey ho.

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