Avatar Nish lives on

I decided I was too “hairy on the go” and needed to cut down on a bit here and there. The most obvious place was the top of my head so I decided to go for a haircut.

Modern life dictates that if you do not have a preferred barber or hairdresser then you have to choose the one that’s most convenient for you. I have tried a number of places over the last few years and can’t quite settle on one. They’re all fine, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing too special to go back to though (apart from the one where they gave me lots of coffee and made a huge fuss over my haircut however it cost twice as much as usual). There are two barbers near my work so I opted to walk past both of them, gauge how many customers were in each and select the one that was the quietest.

I meandered into the barbers with a queue of one and a half in front of me (the half was already in the chair and almost done by my eye but then spent another ten minutes having very little to nothing done to his bonce) and took a seat next to a glass cabinet of hair supplies and accessories.

It was a warm day so I stared nonchalantly out the door and around the room. It was then that my attention was immediately brought to the collection of items a little above my eyeline:

There it was. Nish Man hairspray.

In my mind what happened is that our mythical status grew and grew so much that we spread to the outer parts of Europe and Asia. There a large group of Turkeys (Turkians, Turkish? Turkpeoples) decided that in order to spread the word of how talented and funny we were, they turned us into an aerosol. I know it’s not the greatest explanation but what were you expecting, really? It’s me here, everyone.

It’s a legacy of some kind I suppose and one that will make your hair a good hair. I had a look and there are other products available for all your grooming needs including wax, hair wax, hair on wax hair, volume powder, styling powder, hair on wax powder, eye gel, eyebrow powder wax and strong fixative yellow.

Now available in all good barbershops.

12 comments on “Nish lives on

  • Were they created in deference to us, or…. specifically for us? Have they been produced and shipped out to Turkish barbers the world over in the hope that one day one of the ‘mystic three’ would happen to enter and be so touched by the sentiment that they would immediately bless the Turkish barber community with bountiful custom and plenty of ear candles?

  • My barber is a 50 year old woman called Nicole who’s cut my hear for over 20 years, if I walked in an loudly announced who I was, she’d probably just tell me to be quiet and wait my turn. I’m not sure she’s ever even been to Turkey.

  • The existence of “Nish Man” suggests there might also be “Nish Woman” out there somewhere.

    For what it’s worth my barber is Kate because we got a set of hair clippers during lockdown and I see no reason to pay for a haircut ever again, so if anyone is going to go into a barber’s and announce that they are one of the Hallowed Nish Three, it’s going to have to be Ian. Please report back when you’ve done it.

  • I automatically assume that your “flirting trousers” are actually assless chaps, and I am disgusted. You disgust me.

  • That just made me lol in the library at work and some cool kids looked at me funny.

    Also, put your ass away Ian. And think of V2k, you can’t be flirting with any onld woman these days.

  • Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.

    And if I want to flirt with any onld woman then I will. Flirting trousers are officially approved by the Relationship Councillor’s Guild of Europe which is completely a real thing and not made up at all ever.

  • I’m not knocking anything while your hairy bum cheeks are out in the open. And for gods sake don’t sit down.

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