Hello patrons of Willie’s Blazin’ Wagons Wild West restaurant (Crewe).
Thank you for taking the time to read this notice. It means a lot to all of us.
You may or may not be aware that we have recently had a refurbishment and changed certain parts of the restaurant to fit the aesthetic more. Such a change has not occurred since the first Blazin’ Wagons restaurant opened in Wrexham in 1987.
The toilets are now unisex so you don’t need to decide between ‘partdners’ and ‘partdnistas’. All doors are now saloon doors for that authentic Western look. Originally we had a salad bar although that did not seem special enough so this was upgraded to a brand new Salad Wagon(TM). Sadly there was a mistake made at the printing company which was not picked up by an employee until three days later after it had already been out on the restaurant floor.
If you have seen or heard any references to a ‘Slaggon’ then please disregard these and cast them from your mind. The ‘Slaggon’ does not exist, and if it does, it is not what you think it is.
We have had repeated phone calls from both men and women for their respective stag and hen do’s to engage with the ‘Slaggon’ and we have had to be firm on the matter. We therefore reiterate the following:
- You cannot hire the ‘Slaggon’.
- You cannot ride the ‘Slaggon’.
- You are unable to take the Slaggon out to your uncle’s pub, which is only a few miles away, and return it before the sun rises.
The sign has since been replaced and yet we are still subjected to numerous requests. Please, we are a respective family business and do not desire this level of unwanted attention. Management reserves the right to refuse service to anyone who cannot take the hint. We trust this is satisfactory and hope you enjoy your time at Willie’s Blazin’ Wagons Wild West (Crewe) restaurant.
12 comments on “Please note”
Can I bring my own ‘Slaggon’ when I come to enjoy a Willie’s Blazin’ Burger Combo?
No, sir, you may not enter the premises if you are dragging a ‘Slaggon’ behind you. There are children and ladies present.
Does the Salad Wagon have all the same exciting features a a slaggon?
I doubt it. That’s why I’m sneaking my own in under my coat.
The Salad Wagon has all of your salad needs catered for in realistic rustic baskets. The salad cream comes in a bottle shaped like an old Colt ’45 and the croutons are thrown at your by angry villagers as you return to your table.
None of that sounds sexy. I’ll stick with the slaggon thanks. This is why your business is going down the tubes.
We refuse to bow to public pressure by sleazing up the place. We are a family restaurant after all, sir. If you need a hit of the blue, be sure to visit ‘Sleazy like a Sunday Morning’ about a half mile away.
You’re an empty restaurant, that’s what you are. If you start bowing to public pressure maybe you’ll get some bums on seats. Embrace commercial realities. Embrace the slaggon.
The day I embrace the slaggon is the day I choose to wear brown brogues and that day, sir, will never happen. Good day!
Very well. You won’t be seeing me again. Even as I type this I am walking through the doors of ‘Sleazy like a Sunday Morning’ (Nantwich), an establishment that understands a customer’s needs and lays on adequate Slaggon provision for all its patrons.
I… I feel as though you’re straddling the two places and money is never changing hands.
You can feel what you like. I’m not staying here while there remains a slaggon on the premises.