The world has been shocked today by the news that former X-Factor winner Shayne Ward has been caught trying to cover up the sun with tinfoil.

Tameside police were called to the singer’s luxury mansion in Stockport on Saturday afternoon following reports from neighbours that a huge ladder situated in his back garden was temporarily blotting out the sun from their gardens during the recent heat wave. Upon entering the premises, officers discovered that it wasn’t the ladder but Mr. Ward himself balanced at the top of the ladder trying to wrap the sun in tinfoil of all things.

“I’ve seen a lot of things working as a policewoman in Manchester but this tops the lot,” says Fairweather Skindle, one of the first to arrive on the scene. “It seemed like celebrity madness what with the crazy temperatures we were experiencing. If it wasn’t Shayne Ward blocking the sun with a ladder it could easily be, I don’t know, Ricky Hatton throwing bowling shoes at swans. Anything is possible.”

Mr. Ward was taken into custody shortly after 2pm. His solicitor arrived at the police station half an hour later with one of those sexy summer coffees from Starbucks and half a watermelon, carved into reasonably-sized slices.

The unusual nature of the “crime” has called into question whether or not the defendant was actually committing any misconduct given that nobody was hurt, nothing was stolen, everyone was fine and we all went out for ice creams afterwards.

We consulted with Sedgwick Robust, a physicist who works up the road from where our building is.

“Not taking into account the sanity of the person undertaking the act, based on my calculations you would need approximately 676,444,444,444,444.444444444444444 rolls of foil to cover the entirety of the sun. This would be assuming that you were using extra long foil, measuring 30m by 30cm.”

(We were going to ask for the calculations using regular sized tinfoil and decided against it.)

“As well as this, due to the extreme surface temperature, the aluminium would have melted long before Mr. Ward ever made it to the sun. He would also have died too because if he didn’t suffocate from the lack of air then he would have fried from the intense heat. There isn’t a known material that has a high enough melting point that could allow you to get near to or cover the sun.”

We’re not even sure how much money it would cost in order to buy that many rolls of tinfoil. Not even a crazy billionaire would want to foot that bill and certainly Inside Soap Award’s ‘Best Newcomer’ and TV Choice Award’s ‘Best Soap Newcomer’, both from 2016, wouldn’t think to do so.

We here at Newsboost all hope that this was merely a misunderstanding and wish Mr. Ward a swift recovering (and possibly one of those watermelon slices).