User avatar Leggy Duck

Not so many years ago, Kevin Hill, Science Master, introduced the world to the Majestic Bird Goose – the biggest development in the world of ornithology since the self-boiling egg.

It is now time to introduce the next major leap forward in the world of birds. I am proud to present to you the […]

User avatar Once upon a Time

Once there was a man who lived in his house with his wife and two kids.

It was a happy home, mainly because of the love shared between everyone but also because it had about five thousand rooms and was kept constantly up-to-date because of the man’s obsession with DIY. It had more bathrooms […]

User avatar My Chair Story

So here is a story I have been meaning to tell for a while. It is a story about my chair, a chair story if you will. The entire story is about a chair so if you’re looking for a tale about something else then I would advise you to jog on, like a couple […]

User avatar Otters

Here are some very important questions.

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User avatar Seagull Competition: Results

It’s been a long time coming and the tension is almost too much to bear. A couple of months ago, we asked the Beans Massive to tell us what a Llandudno seagull was thinking back in May 2017 when he was photographed thusly.

It’s taken a while to select a winner, principally because of […]

User avatar 2019 State of the Beans Address

Good evening. Gentlemen, please, be seated.

My name is Sergeant-Major Professor Sir Elbert Louche OBE, and I am delighted to have been invited back for the fifth consecutive year to deliver the annual State of the Beans Address, this year held for the first time here in the glorious humidity of the glass dome […]