Fear. That burning at the pit of your stomach. That tingle on the back of your neck. The shivers that overwhelm your entire body and reduces you to a pitiful mess of a human being.
Everyone fears something and I am no exception. If you’ve ever seen the film ‘Biodome’ then you will know what I mean. Monstrosities like that should not exist in this world so if you ever see it anywhere, be in VHS, DVD or, heaven forbid, Blu-Ray, destroy it before it can infect another person.
Recently a friend of mine found a new fear in an unaccepted place. It looked cheery enough but underneath that happy façade was the high pitched voice and relentless energy of a toddler sucking Coca Cola through a red liquorice straw covered in sherbet.
Don’t look at it. Don’t touch it. Don’t go near it. Don’t even think about the fact that it is somewhere in this world. Just be thankful it’s not where you are. Close your curtains and lock your doors. Turn out the lights and hide in the darkness.
You never know when he might be coming.
11 comments on “Fear the return”
If it comes near me again I’m going to set fire to it.
Ha ha ha! Noooooooooo. You can’t do that….. I live in your dreeeeeeeeeams!
Did you take it outside for a walk?
If he had any sense he took it outside, far away from his house, and left it there.
It was given to Siobhan’s niece by a neighbour in a bag full of other toys. This stood out to me as the pick of the bunch.
Siobhan’s niece surely doesn’t deserve this. I recommend you take the banana, and everything else that was in the bag, and burn it all, just to be sure.
I was back there again on Sunday and it was still there. She played a game where we pretended it was a boomerang and it kept coming back. No matter what you did it kept returning. It sounded oddly familiar.
So, just to be clear, you now have two Nightmare Bananas in your life?
Should we send help?
I’m perfectly fine with it. I can’t hear the voices, they seem to leave me alone. I’m offended and blessed in equal measures.
I’m offended that you’re OK with this. Offence all round! It’s on me!
I’m going to allow this.