User avatarMonty Don – Petition Update

Hi Guys

So, I believe that we are all in receipt of the petition, and when I say “the petition” you know fine well which petition I mean. Yes, it’s the one to get my main man Monty Don back up onstage with a microphone in his hand to rip the world in two with some phat beats.

The only way we are going to get this up and running is with the backing of the people. I know that all of his fans have been crying out for this for years and it was only recently that some brainiac had the right idea to start a petition, and get the ball rolling. We need to roll that ball quick and hard, like the effort needed to stretch a weasel. We have to put that weasel right in there, no pre-stretching or pre-preparation at all, and get it stretched like there’s no tomorrow. If that weasel is going, it’s going and there’s no going back. If that ball rolls back then we need to smash it into next week, whether using the weasel or not.

So, like the weasel, and maybe the ball, we need to get the word out to everyone. I want to see Twitters, people, I want to see a rip curl of emotion driving this down the throats of every single name in your list of followers. I want to see Facebook posts, Instagram instas, Linked-In┬ásausage link┬ánotifications and postcards sent to a PO Box address that doesn’t exist.

I have never felt so strongly about anything in my entire life. I feel as though I was put on this earth to make this happen, and the only way it can happen is with the support of people like you. Without you there would be no you, so keep you-ing and I will keep me-ing, and with any luck by the end of the summer we will have achieved our goal.

All of my eyes, and I do mean all of them, are on you to sort this mother out. Bless you and all your tiny hand socks of joy (what?).

13 comments to Monty Don – Petition Update

  • Hi Guys

    I got two copies of the petition and I have been exerting myself enormously to get them under the pens of each and every passer-by that I encounter.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Hi Guys

    I heard there’s a long line of people constantly queuing outside your flat, trying to sign that petition.

  • Hi Guys

    We’ve had to install one of those systems where you take a ticket and the number comes up on an electronic screen just to deal with the crowds.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Hi Guys

    That is most promising, most promising indeed. When it reaches 99 does it go back to 000 again, like at McDonalds, or do the numbers keep going on forever?

  • Hi Guys

    The number is always number 1. When people take a ticket we ask them to join the queue.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Hi Guys

    Do you offer them a drinks selection while they wait? It’s pretty hot out there.

  • Hi Guys

    No, we advise everyone to bring a bottle of water with them. And a pen. I don’t want them using my pen.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Hi Guys

    That’s pretty mean. You won’t get many people on board with that. You, sir, need a fresh ‘chude. Are you trying to halt the progress of this most beloved of petitions?

  • Hi Guys

    On the contrary, I’m doing all I can to get the petition signed by as many people as possible and I have no time for faffing with queueing systems or catering. In and out, that’s the key, get ’em signed and moved on.

    Hopefully you’ll be pleased with my extensive petition-filling efforts.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Hi Guys

    I can believe that because I have the proof in my bag, all seven hundred many signatures or however many you got. I will be posting something to do with your dedication shortly.

  • Hi Guys

    I think I counted but I can’t remember how many there were. It was something like 230. It was in the 200s. It felt like a lot.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Hi Guys

    I like totally updated this whole post with a brand new post like earlier on today, or maybe it was yesterday? It was late when I did it but it’s there, with words and everything. Check it out!

  • Hi Guys

    I’ve seen it. Thanks guys. Really appreciate it.

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