Pre-Birth Certificate BEHOLD! As promised, please see the premier pre-birth certificate for Mr Menendez and his lovely wife’s new child, expected soon.
20 comments on “Pre-Birth Certificate”
It’s so good to get this officially nailed down in advance. I’m now having a load of personalised merch made up with the new kid’s name printed on it in full. Clothes, furniture, pets, you name it.
Now that it’s official everyone can breathe a huge sigh of relief. The name is decided so we can all move on with our lives.
Excellent. It feels like we’ve saved Kev and Sarah a very big job here. I’m sure they’ll be on here soon to thank us, and perhaps send us celebratory hampers full of delicious foodstuffs and expensive wines.
Expensive wines. Nothing but the best.
Imagine if this was a business and how much we would help the indecisive world with our naming of other people’s kids. For money.
Also, expensive wines.
Yes. Just imagine. A business that would pay no tax, because its income would be entirely in celebratory hampers and expensive wines.
That’s definitely how that works.
Businesses work like that. I know this because I once briefly visited the companies house website, therefore I am a business mogul. It could be my next job once I’m done being a trend setter / fashionista.
Also, expensive wines.
Here’s some ‘wine’ to show our deep and heartfelt thanks.
Please can I place on record my heartfelt ‘thanks’.
Which one do you want, Chris? I would prefer the manky red but I’m passive aggressive enough to let you choose first.
In that case I’ll have the manky red because I’m passive aggressive enough to take the one I know you want just because I know you want it.
Fine. You take the one that I wanted because you wanted it too and more, and you were given the option first. See if I care. I’m chugging this questionable white and you can’t stop me.
I can’t stop you and I won’t try. In a few minutes your acidic stomach and sour windypops will be a reward in themselves for this reckless abandon.
When I chug I mean to chug and I’m gonna chug. You’ll feel the benefit of my chugging in a few minutes that’s fo sho.
Are you bringing back the cheeky chaffinch? Is that happening?
It wasn’t but given that you’re so keen, and I’ve seen keen, to have it back I can only assist with a mad glint in my eye.
There was no benefit to Ian chugging the Cheeky Chaffinch. There were only downsides.
If you mean my “singing” and “composing” then you’d be ever so right but it’d hurt my feelings and you’d owe me £20.00.
Perhaps. But I’d be due compensation for the emotional trauma I suffered through being exposed to a Cheeky Chaffinch fuelled Ian, which would also amount to £20.00.
If you give me a tenner we can call it even?
Only if you give me one in return.
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