Avatar Shenanigans

Before Christmas seems like an age away now. Do you remember what you were doing in December? No? Do you remember what you did yesterday? That’s a worry. You should get that checked out.

It was a fairly relaxed afternoon in the office and I was on my own as the time ticked towards the end of the day. Being chief morale officer in our team, a role I assigned to myself, I decided it would be best for some harmless mischief. I cast my gaze in the direction of the helpful list indicating the correct terms for the phonetic alphabet. Within a few minutes I had come up with my own and replaced it, expecting it to be mostly ignored as nobody ever seemed to use it.

When we returned after Christmas, I had largely forgotten what I had done… that is until my boss turned to me and asked if I was responsible.

“Responsible for what?” I asked, playing dumb. She had, apparently, noticed immediately and because of my reputation for zany behaviour I was clearly the culprit. Luckily due to it being silly, nothing was said about it. Everyone had a laugh. Ha ha!

“You almost threw me because you don’t have a daughter and this one here mentions one,” she said.

This was the sticking point.

This was the focus of most people’s questions and not the fact that I had made up three new words, referenced an album by Steps and a TV programme with Jack Whitehall.

9 comments on “Shenanigans

  • I enjoy this very much. My favourite is “I Beg Your Pardon”, where I effectively is short for I. Excellent work. I hope you’re actually using these while on the phone to people.

  • What do you do if you’re not allowed on the phones? Do you just sit at your desk thinking up alphabets? Is this what I pay my taxes for?

  • What I choose to do in my second lunchbreak (the one around half past four, you know) is my own business, sunshine. If I choose to crack off some hilarious jibber-jabber jokingtons funningtons then I will. So there.

  • I see. Your answer has cunningly avoided answering any part of my question, but was also so aggressive that I’m afraid to pursue this any further. You are skilled in the art of debate, sir.

  • I have to tell you, that kind of spoiled it for me. It made you a bit less alpha. I find you less toxic and intimidating, and I can now imagine you wearing, for example, a beret. It’s a shame because your toxic masculinity was coming along really well until then.

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