User avatarA Deliberate Accident

So recently I was pondering a question that nobody has yet dared to answer. Everyone knows what an accident is but what if someone was to do one on purpose? You see it all the time in films, TV and books; people set it up so something bad will happen to an unsuspecting person. It’s a deliberate accident. So why is it that there isn’t a word for this?

Both Chris and Kev couldn’t help with this conundrum, so it was down to me to bring this puppy home. After musing for the best part of a week it finally hit me on the way to work this morning. Combine the best part of both words and what do you get? Delibadent – a deliberate accident. It’s so simple I don’t know what it never occurred to me sooner. Hell, it should have occurred to more intelligent people a lot earlier than 2019.

Thankfully this now means the world is a better place for having my word, no, our word. It is my gift to the world. Go forth everybody and watch out for delibadents.

15 comments to A Deliberate Accident

  • If it’s done on purpose it’s not an accident. So, what you’ve done there, you see, is you’ve invented a word for something that doesn’t exist.

  • What is the definition of an “accident” though? I mean really?

  • Accident:
    An accident, also known as an unintentional act, is an undesirable, incidental, and an unplanned event that could have been prevented had circumstances leading up to the accident been recognized, and acted upon, prior to its occurrence. Most scientists who study unintentional injury avoid using the term “accident” and focus on factors that increase risk of severe injury and that reduce injury incidence and severity

  • Yeah but mine is a deliberate accident, not an accident. It’s a completely different thing therefore it has a different explanation. I know it’s a pretty unusual concept, guys, but I would have thought you two would’ve got it.

  • If it’s deliberate it’s not an accident. You don’t need a word for it. If something happens that was deliberately intended, even if it was made to look like an accident, it’s not an accident.

  • But you still need a word for it, surely? If not then what would you call it?

  • An act, an event, a thing done a deed, an action, a gesture, a feat, an exploit, a move, a performance, an undertaking, a manoeuvre, a stunt, an operation, a venture, an effort,
    an enterprise, an achievement, an accomplishment… the list could go on.

    Basically just not an accident.

  • Eee Kev, if you knew that someone had set up a bucket full of rocks above the door you had just walked through, causing unimaginable amounts of cranial damage, you wouldn’t call it an achievement.

    When I’m testifying in court, I’ll be calling it a ‘delibadent’.

  • Are you arguing that you need a word for a thing that can never exist? Because if so then there is no surely about it. You don’t need a word.

    If someone set up a bucket full of rocks above a door, in the hope of injuring Mr. Kevin Head’s head, that would not be an accident. It would not be a deliberate accident because it would not be an accident. It would be no type of accident. No new word would be required for it. And when you come to testify in court, calling it a “delibadent” will cause the judge to declare you in contempt of court, and you will rightly go to jail.

  • … so what would you describe it as then?

  • I wouldn’t describe it as anything. I don’t need to describe it. It doesn’t exist.

  • What if it did exist? What if, after years of not existing, it suddenly happened to you? What would you call it?

  • It wouldn’t happen to me because not only does it not exist, it also can’t exist. If something is intentional it can’t be an accident. That’s not something that can change.

  • You’re trying to confuse me with words. I know it can be a thing and when it does happen everyone will look to me for the appropriate word.

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