We all know how slow bureaucracy can be. Fill in the forms and wait years for action. Call every day only to be put on hold with no explanation. But eventually it all pays off.
We all know that fathers of grown ups are Big. Our lives have been overseen by these titans of parenthood. But one among us has reached this status for themselves, and now – despite cutbacks in the civil service and the lack of urgency in the postal system – his official certificate has arrived.
It’s time for us to acknowledge Big Ian.
9 comments on “Big Ian”
This was completely unexpected. What a dream come true! Official Big Man status.
Woah there now. Woah woah woah. Big Ian. You’re Big Ian. Nobody made you Big Man. Let’s not get too big for your Big Ian boots.
That’s true. I understand my error and I retract my statement. There is a clear distinction between the two.
What I really wanted to check is when I should expect to receive the official certificate in the post? I’ve got a frame lined up and everything.
Probably not all that soon. I haven’t printed it off, for a start, so that should give you an indication of minimum timeframes, but realistically you should be thinking long term on this one.
Oh come on, it’s not as if you’ve got anything else on currently. Pull your finger out, man.
Unfortunately for you, my finger was plugging a small leak in my printer’s ink reservoir. Now that I’ve pulled it out the printer hasn’t got any ink. I hope you’re happy.
Give me my god damn fucking certificate right now.
I’m sorry. I had it right in my grasp and I couldn’t bear not having it.