Avatar Fraternity of Zingers

It was inevitable. You know how funny we are, right? How right on the fashions we are when it comes to news, pop culture and, indeed, fashion itself. It was only a matter of time before our amusing jokes about Kevin stretched into the cosmos and all and sundry (sundry, indeed) were swallowed up in the process. Take no prisoners because the Fraternity of Zingers is officially open.

I could stand in the corner, cracking off zingers like they were toffees, but it’s not going to change anything. I need a brotherhood who have got my back to help me spread the good word, the good humour and the good times involved with zingers. Who doesn’t love a good zinger? They’re fast, funny and fruity like the best kind of sandwich. woman. Bring me a big fat plate of fruity zingers so I can chow down like the rest. I want to take my fill of the choicest cuts and you can too.

There’s no paperwork involved. You don’t need to officially sign up like you would for a Direct Debit. All I need to know is if you’re in for the wild ride. All I need from you is confirmation that you want to be part of a family, the closest damn family you’ll ever have. When you crack off a zinger about the news I’ll be right beside you, cracking one back about haircuts or gardening.

A bell in the bush is worth two in the hand, after all.

Even if you’re not particularly hilarious you can still join, we want you! You will learn from the best and under our sweaty wings you will rise the ranks of the Zinger Elite.

Are you with me? Hyper Gamma Meta Zing Zing.

23 comments on “Fraternity of Zingers

  • Your reluctance to join the fraternity has been noted and your presence will be missed. If you decide to change your mind, my son, you know where we are.

  • I’m not with you either. It’s that word “sweaty” again. I don’t want to be involved in any of your sweaty endeavours.

  • I expected you to be well up for this endeavour. If there’s no sweat involved would your change your mente?

  • Are you saying I’m “not particularly hilarious”? If that’s the sort of chap you’re after, and you thought I’d be well up for it, then I am offended and continue to avoid this shenanigan.

  • You’ve never been hilarious. I’ve never laughed at your jokes once. Ever. In fact, who are you and why are you pretending to be my friend?

  • Its a kind of care in the community thing. We promised your mum we’d look after you for a week years back and we’ve never managed to get rid of you since.

  • I don’t know which of us that was directed at, but I like that it works equally well to both of us.

  • I would like to think it was directed at me, because everything NEEDS to be about ME.

    Also I’m pretty sure I was there when he was talking to me mum about this, pouring talcum powder into a watering can and eating sminsters.

  • Yeah, it was about Ian. He remembers well. I mopped up the mess with some tiny squares of kitchen roll, then left.

  • Thanks for clarifying. I have to say, I think it’s nice to learn that I’ve been doing such an amazing charitable service for all these years. Well done me, that’s what I say.

  • You deserve a huge pat on your huge back. Make sure whoever does it gets a good run up before they collide with you for maximum of ‘good for me’ vibes.

    Yes. I thought the word, wrote the word, knew that the word wasn’t a word but left it in anyway.

  • Well, bully for both of us, in that case.

    And bully for Kev. We’ve all earned a bit of bully.

  • It’s a bit of bully all round.

    Isn’t it nice when we all get it a bit of bully? Kev doesn’t get an equal share though, he gets 20% and we can have 40% each.

  • Why do I get short shrift on the bully? If anything it’s me and Chris who have been doing all the work these last 20ish years looking after you.

  • By my count, for you Kev it’s around 24 years and realistically it’s only been 20 for Chris.

    You’re welcome, by the way 😉

  • You’d have more bully if you contribute more to the Beans. I will gladly re-distribute the bully once I see your bean count upped, or if you agree to join the Fraternity of Zingers.

  • It’s getting a bit fractious in here. Time for a picture of Ainsley Harriott to cheer us all up.

  • Is he pretending to be a fish or is the fish pretending to be him?

    Is Ainsley Harriott part fish?

  • There are some things in life we will never know, some questions we will never have answers to, and some people who live their lives in symbiotic harmony with a red mullet.

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