User avatarPie Shaver

Don’t you sometimes want to do something a little unorthodox? Don’t you want to live life on the edge? When someone points the finger at you, accusing you of being a boring old fart, don’t you want to hold something up and tell them that they’re wrong?

Don’t you sometimes want to shave a pie?


Reuben and I did. It was a marvellous occasion for all, except the pie, which everyone forgot about and had to be thrown out.

26 comments to Pie Shaver

  • What I hear here is talk of a pie being shaved. What I see here is a pie with some squirty cream on. What I still don’t understand is what the shaving actually involved, or how a pie that had this much attention lavished on it could be forgotten so easily.

  • I was going to re-tell the story of the pie shaving but a lot of my posts recently have been a tad too long so BAM here’s a weird picture and a weird story. No explanation.

  • Well, in that case, you’ve ticked all the boxes. It’s an achievement and no mistake.

  • Thanks. It has been something I’ve wanted to do for a while. (That’s a lie. It was based on a conversation Reuben and I had two days before that photo was taken.)

    I’m glad that I could record my achievements for future generations to enjoy.

  • Hey. Come on. Two days is a while, isn’t it? Just because your hopes and dreams are brand new doesn’t mean they’re not incredibly important.


  • You’re right, thanks mate #matesquared

    Hopes and dreams are very important, regardless of how long I’ve concocted them. I am still optimistic that one day I will have my very own R’n’B Beaver.

  • I’m sure that’ll happen. You just need a beaver and some bling. That means your to-do list is only two items away from completion. TWO. That’s easy. That’s almost finished.

  • A new shop has opened up down the road called ‘Beaver Bling’. Perhaps I can solve all my problems at the same time? Only time will tell. They’re always shut when I get home from work.


  • No problem. Book yourself a day off work, get yourself down there and you’ll have an R’n’Beaver of your very own by lunchtime. It’s time to make your dreams come true.

    (TWO! TWO!)

  • You’re so right. What about me? There’s not enough me in the world right now. I’m gonna serve up a huge slice of me (what?) and head there right now.

  • That’s the spirit. You’ll be the most you you’ve ever been once you’ve got an R’n’Beaver on side. And you know what they say (what?) about being the most you you’ve ever been: you’re double you. W. W is you. Like a yo-yo but with u’s. Double u’s. W.



  • I tried to read all of that last post in one go and had to go to A & E for a rest.

    Give me a day and I’ll try again. It’s a bit of a Woo HOO dazzler.

  • Take your time. There’s a lot to take in there. When you take it in there, though, and it’s in there, and you’ve taken it, the time you’ve taken will be worth it. Worth it with a capital W.


  • Nope, I tried again and that follow up message made it even worse. I sipping ice tea through a straw made of kippers. Maybe I’m not cut out for this message reading nonsense.

  • Your message reading is feeding your misleading message reading feeling. But your message reading feeling is misled.

    Does that help?

  • It all scans like a Dr Seuss book now. I’m tempted to tag someone else in to continue with this feed.

  • The only other person here is Kev, and you can’t tag him in because he’s not here.

  • Can I open the Character Hatch (TM) and get one of them to help me out?

  • Kevil

    Yeah go for it, Pete Doherty escaped ages ago to record a new album, there’s only the Saint King still there as he’s too stupid to realise the back door was open the whole time.

  • I thought EEFY McJEEFY was still down there. If you put your ear to the hatch you can hear his shouting echoing around the stonework sometimes.

    Wait. Are you telling me you didn’t lock the back door when you found it was still open?

  • There didn’t seem to be much point, it’d been open so long… Plus the lock was stiff and I couldn’t be bothered.

  • Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!


  • OK. We need to put an end to this. I’m going to have that back door bricked up. (Wheeeeeeey! What?)

    Now I just need someone who can do it. Does we know anyone who’s good at DIY?

  • I’m quite handy with a trowel (Waaaaaaaaaaaay! (What?)) but like I said, I can’t be arsed.

  • No use. You’re no use at all. I’ve a good mind to put you in the bin.

  • It’s been so long since we’ve had a good binning. Bin him good.

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