I mean, I’m as horrified as you are to discover that something we thought had come directly from Ian’s brain is actually real, so I apologise now for having to make you aware of this, but it has to be done.
She’s out there, not just real but actually writing books. Presumably it’s the same publisher as Ian’s, turning out neatly-bound stacks of highly flammable product without regard for literary quality.
I searched the shelves of the bookshop in vain for anything by Sweet Petunia, but now I think about it, I didn’t check the gardening or self-help sections.
Please can we all be on the lookout so we know what we’re dealing with here. If characters from Ian’s brain are now real and writing books, there’s no telling where this will end.
19 comments on “Seductively readable”
The “Penny Vincenzi!” exclamation came from picking random authors from the bookshelf at Granny P’s house and exclaiming them to see what worked. Many didn’t make the cut.
Yes but also characters from my mind are phasing into existence and you should ALL be worried when the ghost of Jerry Loinsford turns up.
Did it come from that, though? Did it? Or did Ian invent it and then, afterwards, you just told yourself that comforting story about it being a book on his mum’s shelf because that was easier to stomach than the horrifying truth – namely, that people he invented within his weird brain are now becoming real?
I don’t know what you want to hear. I literally don’t know what you want to read as an answer.
The words “I’ve put that fiver in the post that you said you wanted” would do the trick for me.
Does Kev owe you a fiver? Do you want me to ask him to send it to you?
You both owe me a fiver. I took out a lease on some prime Central London office space at 75 Farringdon Road, costing me £15 for the year, and neither of you have chipped in your share yet. You’ve also not bothered to actually turn up and use it.
I’ve been there but only the times when you haven’t. We keep missing each other, mate. Sorry mate. We do appreciate the effort you made.
Excellent. That’s good news. That means that the law now recognises my claim on that fiver of yours. Get it sent pronto.
If you want to buy clams with your money then that’s your business. I’m not a big fan of seafood, except the band, so I’ll have to pass.
There’s a band called Seafood? Did you buy their first album and then go off them?
I bought their first and second albums, and then went off them. They bucked the trend slightly.
Seafood will do that if you keep it too long. No wonder you went off them. You probably spent several days in the bathroom, “bucking the trend”, after all that.
I have only just learned that Penny Vincenzi died last year. That’s really sad. Still, this only reinforces my desire to keep her memory alive by keeping her as an exclamation. Long may her name be uttered for a multitude of reasons!
That’s one way of looking at it. On the other hand, I think the best memorial to her would be if you literally never said it again.
But why? Why are you afraid of Penny Vincenzi? Where’s the fear from, F-Chris?
I’m not afraid of her. It’s just that, every time you use her name as a sort of lame exclamation, the world gets just a little bit more awful.
Wouldn’t you say that about most things that come out of my mouth?