User avatarSolero reappraisal

It’s been a long, hot summer. Not only have I baked in the hottest temperatures the UK has ever known, I’ve also been overseas to two (2) foreign lands and experienced toasty warm days there as well. I’ve needed cooling down on a regular basis and, to get straight to the point, I’ve eaten a lot of ice cream.

Now, I don’t discriminate where ice cream is concerned. If there’s something cool and tasty to lick, I’m licking it. No argument there. But there’s a definite hierarchy of ice creams and some are quite obviously better than others.

We all know what’s down at the bottom: plastic pipes full of disappointing Ice Pops. And not very far above them comes Milk Pops. Beware, in other words, anything with Pop in its name. Up at the top of the tree, it has long been agreed among the Beans Massive that the Magnum is the pre-packed ice lolly of choice.

Having had a lot of Magnums and a lot of Soleros this summer, I’d now like to make the case for the Solero to be reappraised as a fruity frozen treat on a par with a Magnum. An equal. A peer.

The case stacks up like this:

  • Magnums are, clearly, delicious
  • Sometimes a chocolatey ice cream is too much and you want something fruity and refreshing
  • Soleros are fruity and refreshing, but also high quality, in a way that a Calippo is not
  • I like Soleros

I find it hard to believe anyone would not be swayed by these arguments. If, however, you need more to convince you, consider this: the Solero is now, as of this summer, established as the ice lolly of choice here in the Royksopp Penthouse. Both myself and Steve Stevingtons keep Soleros in stock at all times. The Magnum doesn’t get a look-in.

Soleros: the number one fruity ice cream. Discuss.

14 comments to Solero reappraisal

  • They are lovely. They’re as lovely as a lovely woman in a lovely dress.

  • They absolutely are.

    Can I tell you something, though?

  • Sure you can, mate. Hit me with the facts, Bro. Sling your truth pellets my way, cuz.

  • OK. Here goes. The same day I posted this elegy to the Solero, I went shopping and found they had run out of Soleros, so I bought double caramel Magnums instead.

  • Ooh, that makes this post a little more difficult to swallow now. Did you try looking in another shop before you settled for the magnums?

  • No. This is why I’m so troubled by it. I gave up on Soleros, just like that, and picked up the Magnums. I feel like I’m living a lie.

  • You threw them under a bus, some kind of giant bus with massive teeth; how on earth do you sleep at night?

    Stupid punk.

  • No, I didn’t throw them under a bus. I was in a supermarket where there were no Soleros and no buses. It was not possible to throw something that wasn’t there under something else that wasn’t there. You may have misunderstood the situation.

  • I misunderstood nothing, sunshine. You sold out the first chance you got.

    You need to apologise to the Soleros by buying a wheelbarrow full and stacking them up in a nice pile.

  • I did buy Soleros the next day, even though I already had Magnums in the freezer. If that’s not an attempt at restitution I don’t know what is.

  • That sounds more like a hollow gesture to me. We all know that you secretly revere the Double Caramel Magnums, and quite rightly so. Magnums are top of the pile, and the Double Caramel Magnum is top of the Magnum heap. King of the Magnums.

    Tip top.

    Controversial point of order: I wouldn’t even have Soleros in the top 10.

  • Not even around the 9 or 10 mark?

    We need to re-organise the top ten.

  • That’s not just controversial, it’s outright libellous to Soleros. I therefore disregard your opinion re. my categorically non-hollow gesture.

  • Okay okay okay, it’s getting a bit heated here on the beans. I think it’s only fair that we each put forward our own personal top ten, thus us all earning a post for doing relatively little work. How does that sound?

    We can make October, erm, Icetober! (it’s slightly better than Creamtober or Croctober, which sounds as though it’s to do with shoes or crocodiles).

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