Month: March 2026

Avatar Phrase phase competition – March

This time I tried much harder. Promise.

Another month in the pot (?), another round of potential life-changing phrases to waft past your glorious eye holes. I can see that you’re all gleaming and desperate to know what’s what. You can guarantee that whatever I’ve got, it won’t be handed to you crimsonly, that’s for sure.

Could you be anymore excited? I doubt it. Here’s five more word lines to baffle your friends and influence your peers with:

  • Control Alt Discreet! – something to whisper when you’re trying to keep a low profile and someone accidentally steps on a clown horn
  • You got your set squares all mixed up, Sigmund – catchy catchphrase for mid-tier US sitcom. Laughter track provided where required
  • Smift me all the way to the bank – a made up word handily inserted into a sentence most people use on a daily basis. You can decide what it actually means
  • May angels lead you in and devils drag you out again – cool guy phrase for when you’re about to blow some mother away, possibly at the end of a film
  • Fox me up, fox me RIGHT up – a solid exclamation for when your friends decide to drag you on a night out to cheer you up and you want to look your best

As we can all agree, the calibre of this month is a hundred times better than February. I believe I’m on a bit of a roll and I still have a few tasty morsels put aside for April, you lucky, lucky people.

(Although between you and I, the word ‘grapefruit’ snuck its way into another one of these for some reason. What is it with me and grapefruit?)

As always, if you have any of your own suggestions send them my way and I’ll consider both it and you.

Avatar Creamy cookies

You want a little treat in the afternoon. Something to give you a bit of a sugar rush to propel you through the rest of the working day. Something to dunk in your tea.

A biscuit would be nice. But a biscuit is missing that special something. What would be better?

I know. What if it was creamy. A creamy cookie. Well, don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

Help yourself and dive in to the creamiest cookies you’ve ever known. How can a liquid be so crunchy? We don’t know. We just know that they’re so, so creamy.

Avatar YouTube Promo 2

Hey guys, Face Uncle back to rock your world.

There was a pretty heated debate in the Discord channel about a week or so ago. I love it when you get passionate about things, guys, and I support everything you say 100%.

It inspired me to get productive.

Here’s a little teaser for my new video coming to you LIVE and FRESH at 4.00pm on Friday. Every Friday.

I dared myself to eat as much cornflakes as possible. It was pretty insane, guys, because you never know what’s gonna happen next! I hope you’ll turn up to find out.

Don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe!

Avatar Am I losing my mind?

There I was, aimlessly looking at my Facebook account.

Do you remember how much you faffed about with Facebook when you first got it? Adding in all your likes, favourite bands and films, trying to find people you used to go to school with and sending them a friend request. Poking, apparently, still exists. You can still poke people even now and a lot of people I know are still poking each other (waaaaaay!) so that’s good to know. It was all pretty pointless.

I still get notifications of memories of things and a lot of them are random statuses I typed trying to be funny and failing miserably. Sometimes they’re photos of Reuben or silly things he said as a tiny baby orb. Today was slightly different.

I was linked to something I’d written circa 2008. A short script for something called ‘Cockitt and Pullit’. This was episode two so I must have been on a roll. I glanced briefly at the script before my current orb needed something and I had to switch it off, and made a note in my head to come back later on for a proper read.

I tried to look it up now and it’s gone. The memories have moved onto something else. I sifted through all the various (mostly pointless) pages trying to find where it could be hiding. I’m convinced there used to be a kind of notebook where you could write and store things. Wherever that is hiding must have my scripts for whatever this Cockitt and Pullit thing.

It was a cop drama, probably stupid as we all know the kind of humour 2008 Ian was packing. I’d completely forgotten I’d written them and for now they remain unseen by my judgemental eyes. I’m sure they’re not worth the paper they’re written on, yet if they’re part of my legacy I want them back for future generations to, well, to have.

Except… it’s not mine. If you Google it apparently it was Chris Moyles’ idea, which makes me even more confused. There are references to it in his blog from around the same time. Now I feel like I’m completely losing my mind and I made the whole thing up.

Sometimes remembering isn’t fun.