Avatar A Brave Old Beans

This scarcely seems believable, but it’s true: the first post on this incarnation of the Beans was made ten years ago today when Kev published A Brave New Beans. I still think of this as the “new” Pouring Beans, but it’s been running nearly twice as long as the original. This blog, and all it contains, now forms a record of the whole of our thirties.

Anyway, I wanted to make a post marking this slightly unbelievable milestone, so I have taken my inspiration from Kev’s original post. His “A Brave New Beans” was just a test to make sure everything was set up, and it just contains the word “words” repeated 127 times (I counted). So let’s see how many words we have produced in ten years.

All the words on Pouring Beans

274,895 words
published so far on Pouring Beans

If you put all those posts and pages together to form a book, it would be the same length as Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, or slightly shorter than Ulysses by James Joyce. If you sat down to read it in one go, at an average reading speed of 250 words per minute, it would take you about 18 hours and 20 minutes.

Number publishedTotal wordsAverage
Posts976270,929278 words per post
Pages162,100131 words per page
Podcast episodes401,83046 words per podcast

Words written by each member

We can break that down a bit and see how many of those words were bashed out by each of us.

Posts madeTotal words writtenPercentage of all words writtenAverage words per post

Top ten wordiest posts

There’s been a lot of averages so far, but obviously some posts are longer than others. Here’s the ten posts with the highest word counts ever.

1From the archives: Constantly Falling, the seriesChris1,124
2Four Word Reviews: SchizophrenicChris1,115
32024 State of the Beans Address (wow, that’s recent)Chris1,004
4Film Reviews – Mr. MajestykIan1,001
5Memories (approaching the grey hemisphere)Ian996
6Hamtaro: Ham-Hams Unite!Ian959
8Four Word Reviews: TubthumperChris915
9Four Word Reviews: Right NowChris913
10Four Word Reviews: DiscomaniaChris909

It turns out that, even though my average words-per-post is lower than Ian’s, I’ve actually written most of the site’s longest posts. I think that means I’ve also written a lot of the shortest, thanks to my tendency to just post a photo with a sentence or two of explanation when I need to get an extra post in towards the end of the month.

Unfortunately that means Kev doesn’t appear in the top ten at all. His longest ever post is The end (probably) of #TapSaga, which has 689 words and is 39th on the leaderboard.

Least wordy contributions

A fair number of posts just have a single image without any text, which my high-tech AI algorithm counts as one word but which are really zero. Among the shortest posts with actual words in are Modern Art (Ian, 5 words); Last thought of February (Ian, 3 words) and [redacted] (Kev, 1 word).

There is another post with just one word in it. You see, for some reason, when he made a quick post to test the new Beans setup, Kev wrote “words” and then copied and pasted it lots of times. But in between them weren’t spaces. In between them were “non-breaking space” characters, which display a gap but which aren’t recognised as a space between words. That’s why, if you look at the post, all those 127 words go scrolling off the edge of the screen, because your computer can’t find anywhere to break the chain and wrap it onto the next line.

It means that all those 127 words count, officially, as one word.

So hooray for A Brave New Beans: the first post on the Beans, written ten years ago today… and technically, also, the shortest.

Now let’s get the ball rolling on the next ten years. We need to start documenting our forties.

11 comments on “A Brave Old Beans

  • I am embarrassed to have my lack of contribution to new beans laid bare.

    This year… this year things will be different. Definitely. 100%. Possibly. Maybe.

  • It was not my intention to embarrass anyone, nor indeed to lay anyone or anything bare. But I suppose the unvarnished facts do tell a certain story. The only solution is for Kev to make a real effort in 2024 and aim to make 30 posts a month, each of which should contain 361 words. That way he’ll have caught up by Christmas.

  • I’m sure he can manage that. Put down your kids or whatever chundle you’re buffing in the living room and get typing. What about one of those things where you speak and it types what you’re saying? Get a bit of that.

  • A butler? A robot butler? Yes. If Kev had one of those transcribing his every utterance he’d be the posting champ in no time.

    Incidentally, since we are now at the end of January with no posts from Kev, he’s going to need to make about 33 posts a month for the rest of the year. Hopefully Jeev-o-tron 3000 is arriving in the next day or two.

  • We’re now mid way through February and I think it’s safe to say that Kev’s embarassment is not translating into a significant shift in his posting habits. If he did order a robot butler he’s just set it to work dusting his pelmets or something.

  • What a waste of a robot butler too. Think of all the things we could be getting that idiot to do, and instead he’s just been set to work mindlessly re-dusting parts of Kev’s house that neither of us could identify without a dictionary.

  • It is a nice house though. If I had more house than arms (you know, to dust with) then I’d be one happy capybara.

    It’s also been over two months since his comment and I don’t think he’s been back since.

  • Neither do I. In some ways I sympathise with him, but not in any way that would prevent me making him feel bad if this comes up in conversation.

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