Here at The Beans, the happiness of our readers and contributors is paramount to us. In fact, if you came to our prestigious penthouse offices, you’d see that we have a chart on our wall of all the things that are important to us. “The Happiness Of Our Readers And Contributors” is in big letters at the top, number one. (“Kev” is at number 16, just below “coordinating our socks with our underpants”.)
To help make sure we’re doing all we can, please complete this short survey about your experience here at The Beans.
1. How happy does Pouring Beans make you during waking hours?
__ Not at all happy
__ Not very happy
__ Neither happy nor unhappy
__ Slightly happy
2. To the extent that Pouring Beans intrudes upon your dreams and infiltrates your subconscious, do you feel that this happens:
__ Not nearly enough
__ Not really enough
__ Neither not enough nor not unenough
__ Almost enough
__ Way too much
3. Bearing in mind that there are allegedly three people running this website, to what extent do you feel that Kev’s continual absence detracts from your enjoyment of Pouring Beans?
__ It detracts very heavily/I can’t read this properly because I am in tears
__ It detracts somewhat
__ It neither detracts nor whatever the opposite of detracts is
__ It does not detract from my enjoyment at all
__ I come here to get away from him
4. Considering the range and variety of topics covered by articles on Pouring Beans, the range of hairstyles offered by the authors of those articles, and the back-catalogue of characters and in-jokes employed in their writing, do you feel suitably bewildered and unable to keep up with it all?
__ Totally unable to keep up with any of it
__ Unable to keep up with some of it, but just about keeping my head above water
__ Flustered and confused into a position of having no opinion and hoping it will all go away
__ Doing OK, though possibly only thanks to being in denial about it all
__ Completely able to keep up with it, but I may be lying
5. Do you have any other comments that you wish to make?
Thank you for participating in this year’s Customer Satisfaction Survey. The results will be collated and turned into a range of colourful graphs and charts.