Time for a Sing Song

What with April peeking around the corner, desperate to blast us all away with Easter-based hilarity, let’s take a moment to enjoy the last day of March with a wonderful ditty.

Part-written in turn by Reuben, but mainly by me, let us present to you the marvel that is ‘Barry The Chinchilla’. If you can remember the ‘Woman in a Tabbard’ song from the Big Breakfast then you should sing it along to that tune.

Barry The Chinchilla

Barry the Chinchilla
He bought a big gorilla
Used to play for Aston Villa
(His) favourite colour is manilla
Likes to dance along to ‘Thriller’
Wrote a play with Arthur Miller
Once was flattened by a pillar
Was an extra in ‘Godzilla’
Drinking pints of sarsaparilla

BUT

(Poor old) Barry the Chinchilla
Wicked Audrey was his killer
Bumped him off with cordless driller
(Finished off by his gorilla)
Then she went after Priscilla

(No more) Barry the Chinchilla
Nor his sister, sweet Priscilla

Words to Live by…

Recently my life was shaken to its very foundations and then rebuilt around a piece of prose so profound that I had to take a good hard look at myself in the reflection on the back of a spoon.

The reflection was quite distorted and upside-down but I think we can all agree that this is truly inspirational…

A new album from The Papples

I’m delighted to announce that a brand new album from the world’s favourite band, The Papples, is on the way very soon. It will be their first new music since 2011’s “Pop Squared”.

Their fourth studio recording is titled The Eponymous Album and features an exciting collaboration with reclusive genius Kevil.

The Eponymous Album by The Papples — Cover art for “The Eponymous Album” by The Papples

The full track listing was leaked to Pouring Beans earlier today and I can exclusively reveal it here.

Introductingtons
Mincey Beef
Dancin’ With My Truss On
Dirty Chips (feat. Kevil)
My Shoes
Dizzy Wizards
Only You
Rainbow Seeker
Jenny Lewis Has a Dirty Mouth
(Do It)
Sexatronic
Outroductingtons

The Papples themselves were unavailable for comment but are believed to be planning a major world tour.

Perky Penguin

Would you like a delicious drink of Perky Penguin?

Marketing strategy

Now that the New Beans has launched, we clearly need a new slogan to advertise this significant new public service to the masses.

I know we had a great slogan before, on the original Pouring Beans site – “Taller than fourteen owls on a ladder and twice as elegant” – but I don’t think it really sums up what we’re about these days.

I’d prefer something simpler, for the short attention span of the internet age. My proposal is just “&”. It’s clean, simple, conveys our core values and it’s totally unique. It also doesn’t take long to type.

If you have any alternative proposals for our new slogan, please post them here.