User avatarFinally, Equality at the Royal Mail


For too long, posting letters and other items has been the preserve of the heterosexual. Outdated Victorian rules dictated that homosexual post carried a dangerous residue and it was too risky to allow it into the postal system.

Of course, science disproved that many years ago, and now the Royal Mail are catching up. New Gay Postboxes are springing up everywhere, allowing people of all sexual preferences to enjoy the sending of items nationwide.

11 comments to Finally, Equality at the Royal Mail

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    So which peoples are allowed to use the gold ones that also keep appearing? Are they for seventies throwbacks or disco kings?

  • No, they are for the upper classes, who write their letters on parchment with a goose quill. If you post one of your proletarian letters in there, they’ll lock you in the Tower for treason.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    What kind of Tower? Does it have turrets? What sort of Wifi does it have available? Can I book a weekend in June or are they fully booked?

  • A dirty tower. No turrets. Many filthy dungeons, beyond hope for all but the most vigorous cleaning sprays and wipes. No wifi. Hot and cold running vermin in every room. Strange smells. Rude receptionists.

    Double rooms still available, £10.10 per night.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Just the one for £10.10? That’s absurd!

  • What, you expect respectable prices in this tower of ill repute?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    What are the acoustics like? Could we get a lot of freeverb (see what I did there) if we decided to record the next Papples album there?

  • No. It’s brim-full of acoustic baffles. No echo at all. A dead space in every sense of the word.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    So… so what you’re saying is that we should get the record company to rent the whole thing out and start writing a black metal album?

  • If you want to record something there it’ll be a solo project. Go record your cheeky chaffinch album there. I’m out.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Solo black metal project? Phoning It In does cheeky chaffinch? I think this could be marketable. Let me speak with my legal team.

    Anyway, where do disco kings send their post?

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