Avatar Eternal (not the pop group)

How will you be remembered? What will be your legacy?

What small nugget of nonsense will you leave the world so they know that you were once here, plugging away through all of life’s shambles like everyone else? Most people think it’s easy enough to pop out of a couple of kids and job done, right?

While my legacy is currently encroaching on my status as ‘tallest person in my family’ and ruffling through cupboards looking for chocolate cereal, there is another way that I will be “fondly” (?) remembered for years to come.

My nieces have all collectively lost their minds, which is nice when you think about it; they could have lost them one by one but they chose to do it all at the same time like sisters. together as a family. Adorable. I’m so proud of them. They then decided to write a song, which is clearly inspired by me, and John sent me a video of them performing it. The internet doesn’t deserve that but what I will do is show you the lyrics to this timeless masterpiece. It’s so poignant that if that rumoured Papples reunion ever happens they may have to croon a cover of it.

Now all I need is someone to paint my beautiful visage next to a newly-commissioned big-chinned, bollock-necked MaGee with the lyrics surrounding me in a halo of light and my voyage to immortality will be complete.

6 comments on “Eternal (not the pop group)

  • I did indeed fart in the principal’s office, but it was murder holding it in all the way to America on a plane, across town in a cab, and whilst waiting for the receptionist to allow me in to see the principal. Nightmare.

  • I reckon Ian must be Blueberry. He wouldn’t (hopefully) be in the girls toilet, and I cant see him doing an PE any time soon.

  • That’s me, that’s my middle name. When I’m strutting along the strip they all say, “there goes Big Bad Blue Blue Blueberry McIver”.

    Also stop travelling unnecessarily abroad, Kevin.

  • Guffing in the cafeteria where people are trying to eat. That’s a McIver classic. Appalling.

    I’m ashamed to say that Donald is a pseudonym I adopted to cover up the time I went into a PE lesson and let one rip to show my distaste for the concept of exercise.

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