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I know there’s been a lot of bad things happening recently. Just today I discovered that the patent on application number EP96923892.2 expired on 21 June. Very, very sad times.

It can’t be all doom and gloom though, right? There has to be some bright cheeks peeking out between the hazard clouds. It’s a good job that I am here to wheel out the happy high fives.

In addition to the thrilling news that my new book, ‘Thirst Pocket Hysteria; a Nation in Crisis’, which deals with the sudden outbreak of panic amongst the general public due to the baffling rise of the Vanish Tip Exchange and people bulk-buying kitchen roll at an alarming rate, available at all general and local book stores come this Friday, is out, I also have a story which will warm the very deepest and very murkiest corners of your hearts.

Those with a keen mind will remember that my very first post on the then new look Beans on 3rd February 2014 dealt with a mild irritation concerning a lollipop man who works near my office. If you can’t remember it then it is also here like a tasty mung bean salad. He clearly could not handle how great I was, and still am, and chose to deal with this by being quietly hostile, ignoring my attempts to break the ice. A period of two years elapsed with no further instances until a couple of months ago I crossed the road and in reaching the other side he finally spoke up with, “Good Morning.”

I was stunned. All this time and now he chose to speak up? A lessor man would scoff and walk on, but there was something in his approach which made me re-consider my choices. The conflict was over. The battle was done. I dusted off the dour days go by, held my head up and retorted with an equally chipper, “Good Morning!” Now it happens each time I cross the road at his crossing. He sometimes even smiles. We are the best of fake office grunt and lollipop man friends.

I am still a little confused as to why the council would pay a man to stand next to a pelican crossing and help people cross the road where an automated system has been put in place for that very reason… but hey, that is not my beef.

This has been Positive Moments for the Beans Network. If you would like to share your positive moments with us then please don’t.

And now back to Chris…

19 comments on “Positive Moments

  • I’m dismayed but not surprised to learn that you have another book coming out. If the rambling sentence in the third paragraph is anything to go by I expect the whole thing will be impossible to even make sense of.

    I stand ready with my box of firelighters and my extra-long matches.

  • I have a confession to make. I thought everyone would discuss another post about how great my books are so I hid it within another post. A post within a post.

  • I did didn’t I and no, we didn’t did we?


    At least i have my legions of fans to keep me from weeping into the afternoon.

  • The world needs to know about my books. If it wasn’t for me and Stephen King books wouldn’t exist.

  • After the amount of signed first editions I’ve sent to you, that’s a very hurtful thing to say, Christopher.

    I close my mouth to that.

  • The brown stains you leave up the walls will only make your landlord weep hot tears of smelt.


    Or maybe ha!

  • My landlord’s time will mainly be occupied with the important business of not looking at the sofa and not noticing the many cuts in the cushion fabric.

  • At least Kev made a living out of Poodle Grooming. I spent years slashing away at sofa cushions and not once did anybody pay me.

  • I’m not sure if there’s a market (hand window) for it. If there’s a way of making money out of something, however, Reuben is the best person to ask.

  • Ian’s books do indeed appear to be the work of a half-deranged half-wit, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t keep writing them. He’s keeping the printers in gainful employment, even if they do realize that their life’s work has been reduced to producing fairly luxurious kindling.

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