Avatar What is a Pound Minute?

We may have invented wireless communications, put sailors on the moon and shortened the English language to within an inch of its life, but what is a Pound Minute?

The Pound Minute is a way of working out whether doing something is actually worth your while. It measures the cost received for the action being carried out and confirms whether you should or should not do it. The Pound Minute has been alive for several decades but is only now receiving the attention it so rightly deserves.

Say, for instance, you were asked to paint your friend’s fence. They provide you with the paint and overalls, and maybe even lunch if you play your cards right. The fence will take approximately three hours to paint, both front and back, and you have to apply at least two coats of paint for it to be considered a worthwhile job. Your friend will pay you £10.00 per hour of painting that you do.

If you choose to carry out the smallest amount of the painting required, which is six hours, you will earn £60.00. This equates to six Pound Minutes. This is a good use of your time but will make your friend think twice about asking for your services again.

If you choose to carry out the right amount of painting required, which is nine hours, you will earn £90.00. This equates to nine Pound Minutes. This is a bad use of your time, but it will make your friend think of you in a new light because you are going the extra mile to ensure that fence is gleaming like grandma’s keys.

Those of an indecisive nature can also utilise the ‘Wheel of Thrusting (TM)’. Future versions may be able to calculate Pound Minutes on your behalf.

11 comments on “What is a Pound Minute?

  • I’m not sure I’m any clearer on what a pound minute is after reading the article.
    You’ve missed out many key details e.g.

    What colour is it?
    Where does it take its holidays?
    Is it a fan of Soul Jazz?
    Does it prefer Zig or Zag?

    I can’t get behind and new units of measure until we at least understand the basics.

  • How come six hours of painting is a good use of my time but nine hours of painting at exactly the same hourly rate is a bad use of my time?

    Personally I wouldn’t get out of bed for £10 an hour.

  • Would you like a copy of the Which guide to the Pound Minute? It’s free and all you need to do is fill in a very short quiz at the end of this message.

    Chris, think of what you could do with nine hours. Would you want to spend it painting a fence? Wouldn’t you much rather fill yourself with quiche?

  • I thought it was an established fact, known throughout the borough, that I hate quiche. If that’s the choice I’ll take the painting any day.

  • I’d love a copy of the guide, but the quiz isn’t loading, can you reboot it?

  • The quiz loaded for me but it wouldn’t let me start without putting 50p in the coin slot and my computer hasn’t got one of those.

  • Whydoyouhatequiche? Isitbecauseitsgottoomuchegginit?

  • Unbelievable. I don’t mind taking part in a quiz but these are deeply personal, intrusive questions that I am not prepared to discuss.

  • Now what are we all to do when quiche has got a hold on you?

    Quiche is too tight to mention.

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