User avatarBroken

In the last two weeks, the following things have broken.

  • My central heating boiler, which was broken for a week
  • My phone, which had to be sent off for a week and a half
  • My coffee pot, which still isn’t fixed
  • My watch, which still isn’t fixed
  • My iPod, which I had buy parts to fix myself

This has been dispiriting and distressing, and has severely tested my fortitude.

If you are thinking of breaking any of my possessions, or in any way modifying them so that they break in a seemingly accidental way, or if you become aware that one of my possessions may break or suffer a breakage-like incident, please inform me in writing at least two days beforehand so that I can prepare myself mentally and physically.

Thank you.

17 comments to Broken

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I was considering breaking your spirit, but it seems as though someone has already got there first…

  • My will to live is pretty much sellotaped together these days too.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Can I enquire as to how the coffee pot and watch broke?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    How did the coffee pot and watch break exactly?

  • I accidentally hit the side of the sink with the glass jug of the coffee pot and it cracked into several pieces. That was my fault.

    The watch literally fell off my arm while I was at work. One of the pins holding the strap onto the clocky watch part has snapped. That was not my fault and I suspect it may be the result of a curse or other enchantment.

  • Kevil

    Oh sorry! That may have been me. I was doing some watch curse incantations the other day, I must have misdirected one your way.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Kevin, are you on a crime spree or something?

  • Please can I remind everyone to be careful when practicing low-level sorcery.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    He’s the epitome of a level 1 wizard. The mini disc of the sorcery world. The Betamax of the magic realm.

  • He’s totally laserdisc.

  • Kevil


    I’m trying, give me a chance or i’ll break you watches an inconvenient times.

  • My watch is still broken. You’d have to magic it fixed before you could wreck it again.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    “I’ll break you watches an inconvenient times.”

    I’m so glad he doesn’t check what he’s written before he posts. That is ripe for a meme.

  • Kevil

    My spellinz am not good?

  • Meme it up. It’s the next “I have learn so much”.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    It IS, isn’t it?

    I’m gonna meme it up big Willie style.

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