Look at me and weep, mere mortals, for I am the Collector and I have the THINGS you can only dream of.
I can see you eyeing up my two copies of ‘Winback’ for the PS2 and, no, you can’t borrow them. What was that? You’ve been looking for ‘Milo and Otis’ on DVD for years now and you’re desperate to watch it again? Well think on, chumperino, because that case isn’t going anywhere.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, life is good.
Delve deeper into my collection and you come across the real deal. The top dogs. David Dickinson’s eyes would pop out if he saw the things of things I’ve got hiding in the back.
Take a look at these nuggets of joy:
Back in 2010 I had the privilege of receiving a dozen postcards from Messrs Hill and Marshall from their antics of romping through the fields of whatever it was they were doing at the time (I don’t know, I’m too important to read any of them). Something involving cows? Driving? I guess we’ll never know.
I therefore present to you a one of a kind set of official Pouring Beans postcards. Best throw these into the mausoleum, I mean museum of delights we call a website.
11 comments on “Enter the Collector”
This is joyful. I remember doing this but I have no memory of what was on any of these postcards. What I do remember is visiting The Dicker. We took the Wispas and the drinks in a tiny fridge I had, that was powered off the car’s cigarette lighter socket, which was completely ineffective.
A tiny fridge makes the world go round even if it’s useless. Where would we be were it not for useless things? I’ve got a gallbladder and not once has it ever done anything for me, the selfish harlot.
Does it at least keep drinks and Wispas cold?
No, I tried and it doesn’t work that way. Where’s the handling tiny (I meant to write ‘tiny handle’) to get into it? It’s just not there.
My shitty car fridge had a really handling tiny. It was hard to open because it was so fiddly. Thinking back, there really were no redeeming features to it at all. I wonder what I did with it in the end.
Did you attach it to a lamppost with a bike lock and leave it for some youths to come and pinch it?
I have one in my loft we used to use to keep baby milk in on a night. Is it that one? I don’t think I stole it from you. Did I steal it from you? It’s a white one.
No, mine was silver. And dreadful.
Silver is almost white. It sounds like we have a tea leaf in our midst.
For shame, Kevindo Menendez.
I can’t believe he nicked the tiny fridge that I didn’t want, painted it white, filled it with milk and put it in his loft. This is like the secret blanket all over again.
I’M GLAD YOU BROUGHT IT UP BECA… sorry, I’m glad you brought it up because that’s the next thing I was going to say. Sodding secret blanket.