User avatarThings! Ep. 2 – Poodle Euthanasia

After we premiered the first episode of Things! last month, it’s starting to look like this series might be the hot new TV property for 2016. Already we’ve had enquiries from prestigious TV stations in Yemen and Herzegovina about buying this lucrative format.

For those of you wishing to see the series in English, here’s episode 2, in which Dougie McLaughten meets a shy and retiring man who has solved a very particular problem.

25 comments to Things! Ep. 2 – Poodle Euthanasia

  • Elena....

    1. You spelt euthanasia wrong.


    3. Peter bears an uncanny resemblance to Chris.

  • 1. No I didn’t. Look, it’s spelt correctly.
    2. No penguins were harmed in the making of this television programme.
    3. It’s just a trick of the light.

  • Elena....

    For anyone else reading this, this post was originally titled “Euthenasia”.

    1. You’re only fooling yourself. Also, I knew something you didn’t for the first time ever! Hooray!

    2. We’ve all heard that before.

    3. The light doesn’t change personality…

  • Kevil

    1. Woop.
    2. Penguin Poodle Proxy!
    3. Personality is not an outwardly recognizable trait.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I ate too much spaghetti and gave myself a spaghetti stitch.

    … did I do it right? #joiningin

  • 1. I’m not fooling myself. It IS spelt correctly!
    2. Chips with brown sauce.
    3. I may have changed the subject of some of these numbered points.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    1. Sometimes I like to eat out of date biscuits
    2. Norman St John Stevens
    3. 200 lemons

  • 1. Organic compost
    2. Wilful negligence leading to eventual collapse of the supporting steel frame
    3. 145 more lemons

  • Elena....

    1. Penguins.
    2. Penguins
    3. Oh look, some sheep!

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    1. Chronic Tornado Penguin Conquistador Syndrome
    2. Lord Galmont is a whoopsie
    3. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you a lemon

  • 1. One
    2. Two
    3. Lemons 🙁

  • Elena....

    1. Scotland
    2. Windshield.
    3. Santa Claus.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    1. 2. 3. 4.

    Lift your leg and let it roar.

  • You have, almost inevitably, lowered the tone.

  • Elena....


  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Thank you. Thank you. I knew I had to do something. It was getting far too serious for my liking.

    Also pumps.

  • Kevil


  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Also YOLO.

    Also bum bag bollock britches.

  • I’m starting to look back wistfully on the days when Ian would demurely use stars in place of rude words when posting to this site. He’s such a potty mouth now.

  • Elena....

    Wasn’t it Kev that was scared the swear words would flag up on his work internet?!
    To be fair though I thought work could hack my imessages.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Sometimes I pretend I’m Dave Benson Philips and I sing Moloko’s ‘Sing it Back’ like I’m on Playdays.

  • “Dave Benson Philips Sings the Hits of Moloko” was without a doubt my favourite album of 2010.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    It was much better than The Lone Ranger by Suggs. Without a shadow of a doubt. Dave Benson Philips doesn’t get the respect he deserves.

  • I heard that originally The Lone Ranger was going to be recorded by Dave Benson Philips, but he was too busy making Get Your Own Back, so the record label offered it to Suggs instead. It would have been a great record if DBP had taken it on.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Does this sound like a Kickstarter project to you? My ears can almost hear it now, and they’re warming to the tunes.

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