Avatar Unknown Pleasures

It seems as though most of my posts this month have merely been transcribed moments of wonder from other people, and who am I to change the habit of a lifetime? Besides I’m too busy writing new songs for the Papples, or scratching myself using pointy kitchen utensils, to actually come up with anything myself. I might toss off a photo or something just to make up the numbers.

Anyway, onwards and upwards. I stumbled across this the other day. It is a song written by Reuben presumably just after waking up because not a lot of it makes sense, but these are the things that will be framed and handed out to his friends when he reaches some embarrassing age yet to be determined by me and a case of Jack Daniels.

There isn’t any music so you’ll have to imagine the tune yourself. I’ve copied it word for word, including spelling and grammatical errors. I think it’s much better this way:

I Sang To The Kitty

I sang to the kitty and, He trumped in my face.
So I ran to the kitchen and he followed my trace.

I gave the kitty pie’s and he trumped in my eye’s.

So listen hear Child, most cats are realy quite mild.
So listen hear Child, most cats are realy quite mild.

What I most love about it is that he is trying to educate his peers like he is a wise man or some sort of Shamen; you must watch out for felines farting, it’s a common concern about the pre-teens. In fact I shall be launching a poster campaign along those lines within the coming weeks.

Coming soon: another song I found with a spectacular misspelling of the word ‘yesterday’.

18 comments on “Unknown Pleasures

  • This is as charming as it is catchy. I’ve loaded the text file into my iPod so I can read it over and over again on the train home instead of listening to real music.

  • In my head I imagine him giggling wildly whilst writing this as though it were the funniest thing ever written.

  • So it wouldn’t lift your skirt to know what I was pondering right now?

  • Don’t you remember Ian, he bought those special skirt weights to prevent exactly that from happening

  • I used to live here, it was a few years ago though, you may not remember… I was that guy, you know… the one who never really said much, but when he did, everyone stopped and listened. Like Vinny Jones in a film, but you know, good.

  • I was there. I stopped and listened too. In fact I’m still there now…

  • You can go home. I’m pretty sure I’ve finished for the time being. The fact that I left there some time ago should be a clue.

  • … you left?

    Oh yeah you did. I must stop using jam jars for glasses.

  • But you’re still on stage.

    Oh, that’s not you at all. It’s a cardboard cut-out (with a hidden tape recorder).

  • Yes. If Mr Chang can do it then so can I #matesquared #mateunited

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