Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle
Don’t grumble, give a whistle
And know that there are ducks out there wearing hats….
Author: Kevil
Episode 9: Cake & Cricket
Kev and Ian are once again joined by Chris for another exciting instalment where they discus:
- Gatu
- Gateau
- Cake
- Cake vs Gateau
- Sport
Episode 8: Do Bears Come in Tins?
In an exciting format twist Ian and Kev are joined this time out by Chris meaning that, for the first time, everyone who actually listens to the podcast was there when it was recorded. They all had a jolly good time discussing:
- Even keels
- Inner smiles and secret smiles
- The merits of tinned fruit
- Hooting eyes
Episode 7: Elevenses
Welcome back.
This time out Ian and Kev spend most of the time discussing elevenses, only to discover that they have no idea what it is.
Enjoy.
Vague Answer Hotline
Sometimes you need answers:
- What time will the train arrive?
- When does the film start?
- What time are we meeting in Leeds?
When you need these answers, what do you do? You refer to the source of the knowledge; The train timetable, cinema website or person you intend to meet.
There are other times however, when you need information but no matter how many times you ask you’ll never get a straight answer:
- When are you going to do that thing Kev?
- When is Chris in Leeds?
- Ian, do you want a drink?
On these occasions why not make use of my new service, The Vague Answer Hotline.
- Cut out the increasingly bizarre excuses!
- Cut out 37 text messages where one will do!
- Cut out obscure references to ‘celebrities’ you’ve never heard of and never will again!

Our operatives are sat around bored out of their minds, just waiting to give you a generic vague answer that will be just as much use to you as the answer you’ll eventually get anyway.
Why not try it for yourself and give us a call today?
Episode 6: Do Worms Like Steak Pie?
In this vastly delayed release, Kev and Ian discuss:
- Weather
- Living as Mr Men
- Dangerous Seagulls
- Giant Worms
- Is soil vegetarian?
Episode 5: Bananarama Diorama
Kev and Ian discuss such inane nonsense as:
- Making eyes
- Tuning eyes
- Using eyes
- Bananarama
- Photoshopping gurns
Episode 4: King William’s War
In this vastly delayed episode, Ian and Kev discuss:
- A small feud over Stock Aitken Waterman
- Annexing the Lake District
- Crumpets
- Onions