Hi all, welcome, welcome. It’s that time, not that time again because we haven’t done it before, but that time! Time for the Beans Christmas Raffle!
And boy do we have a doozy of a 1st Prize for you… One lucky winner will* win Chelmsford!
That’s right, the City of Chelmsford is the county town of Essex. It is located in the London commuter belt, and is just 32 miles north east of Charing Cross, and, get this, only 22 miles from Colchester! Once you win this fabulous new city, you will be in charge of a population of approximately 110,000! Think of what you could do with that.
Second prize will* be a Yardley Tac Set from Boots.
Third Prize is** a tin of Pinapple chunks!
Ooooooooooooh! Exciting isn’t it. 10 Tickets are yours for only £10.10 send you money now to:
Beans Christmas Raffle
Pouring Beans Estate
18 comments on “Beans Christmas Raffle!”
Is this because we implied you didn’t put a lot of effort into your posts?
If I win Chelmsford, can you clarify whether I’ll just own it and English law will still apply, or whether I will become absolute dictator with complete control over life and death for all 110,000 underlings?
You will* also win an Act of Parliament enabling you to enact new local by-laws, but English Law will still apply.
Do you get to take it with you or will Chelmsford have to stay where it is? If the former, I’m going to stick it behind the recycling bins over the road.
Will I have the power to enact by-laws for the raising of revenue towards the cost of building a spaceship with big lasers and massive shouters? Or would that count as a defence matter reserved for Westminster?
I read that as massive shoulders.
Any spaceship I build will have massive shoulders. It goes without saying.
Are the pineapple chunks still available?
They’ve already been incorporated into the massive shoulders on Chris’ spaceship. Soz.
Well that’s not fair. He can’t have first and third prize! I am most dissatisfied.
What are you going to do about it?
Nobody’s won anything yet, I haven’t had any ticket money through.
Ten tickets for £10.10 sounds excellent. I like those odds. I’ll take ten sets of ten for 10x £10.10.
I sent a cheque!
This customer service is disgusting. I want to speak to the manager.
Ten by ten by ten? That’s a lot of tens. It’s more tens than Kev can handle.
I don’t think the manager is available. He’s too busy cementing the swamp taps in the vestibule.
Elena, your cheque has now been received and is being processed by our accounts department, we apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused.
Chris, please ensure you send ten cheques for £10.10 and not one cheque for 101.00 as this is beyond the reach of our accounts technicians. Thank you for your custom.
No problem. I’ll post them at ten past ten today.